F' The Writer's Strike!

First off, let me say that I'm in no way qualified to judge which side of the writer's strike is right and which is wrong. I haven't read much into it, although it seems like the writers are looking for a piece of the pie on internet revenues, which the Networks/studios haven't figured out how to make money on yet.
Regardless...We need this strike to end...and I mean soon.

I'm not a basher of reality tv in any way. I've been a Survivor fan since the beginning. The Amazing Race? Spectacular...except when they went to the Family System. Four players? Come On! But there are limits to what I can take...For example, in the timeslot that was normally saved for two of my favorite shows, Heroes and Chuck, was an exciting 2 HOUR LONG Deal or No Deal. I mean, unless you told me that the breifcase models were going to strip down to their panties and have a tickle fight, I'll be glad to never have to endure another hour of that show...let alone TWO! Also, currently on air, there are 2 different shows that are Karaoke based. One is Singing Bee starring former boybander Joey Fatone, the other is Don't Forget The Lyrics starring Wayne Brady. I've seen them both, and all I have to say is this: Say What Karaoke beat you to the punch about a decade ago.

There is also a great show called "Battle Of The Choirs" starring former boybander Nick Lachey and girlbander Kelley Rowland, as well as the No Talent Ass Clown Michael Bolton. Now while I'm fully in favor of pop/rock song that employ the choir (Like A Prayer, I wanna Know What Love Is etc.) I don't need to see an American Idol ripoff featuring them, nor do I need to see The Next American Rock Band or the Next Great Wedding Singer, or whatever they can come up with next.

There is ONE thing that I am excited about though with the writer's strike. And yes, it is the Return of American Gladiators. I loved this show growing up...and really look forward to a new version of it, hosted by the newly single Hulk Hogan. I've seen commercials, and they definitely show that the Joust and Assault are back as events...I can't want to see the new events. Will they keep Breakthrough and Conquer? Powerball? I can't wait to find out.




I'm really worried that some shows are going to suffer greatly by the writer's strike, especially new shows that have had to cut short plot lines. I feel that these new shows may just get axed rather than giving them a new shot after the strike is settled.

Also, with the Strike, I really don't want to see movies that were pushed out too quickly, I have heard that studios pushed forward deadlines for scripts drastically, and I hope that doesn't lead to a lower quality of film, I'm sure it will, but I hope it doesn't happen. I can totally see a few sequels that have no business being made...or some films that have been rewritten by directors, because the writers are on strike, and just ruining it.

I will say this, The Dark Knight looks UNBELIEVABLE...Heathe Ledger as the Joker looks scary, really scary. Batman Begins was such a good flick, and I think the combo of Christian Bale as Batman and Michael Caine as Alfred is really the perfect combo. Supposedly Ledger's acting was so good, the studio has chosen to not even advertise that there are two villain's in the film (Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent AKA Two Face). Either way, it's Definitely the one film I'm looking forward to seeing next year.


The one good thing about the Writer's strike, is that I'll have more time to watch the New Look Celtics and suddenly not sad sack Bruins play more often...

Foundation Movie Review Time

After some internal dialogue within the Foundation, I've decided that I'm relying too much on lists these days...and that maybe a little much of the blog is taken up by TV these days...so I'm going in a slightly different direction. I'm giving you a good, old fashioned, Siskel and Ebert like Movie Review.

First off, this movie played in limited release at the Kendall Theater, which being new to the "Good" side of the river...there, I said it, the good side...I haven't been to often enough. But the place is absolutely DESOLATE at 9:30 on a Monday, let me tell you. Other than that, it's a very good venue for movie watching. nice seats, convenient parking/t access etc.

Anyway, The movie I was there to see was Life Of Reilly, a film version of Charles Nelson Reilly's One Man Show called Save It For The Stage. Loyal reader Dan Nolan would say, this blog has focused a little too much on Mr. Reilly, but I'm fine with that. Basically, it's a two hour movie with Chuck telling stories and spinning yarns about his INCREDIBLY interesting life, from being a nearly blind kid in The Bronx, to surviving the Hartford Circus Fire, to joining an acting class whose fellow students included: Jason Robards, Jerry Stiller, Hal Holbrook, Anne Meara and the incredibly ageless (with the help of many many plastic surgeries) Charles Grodin. Basically this movie was about Charles Dropping Names of all the people he knew, and worked with, as well as talking about how difficult his life was growing up with a family stricken with alcoholism, depression, mental disease, adultery, and poverty. But it is extremely powerful going between laughing and nearly crying several time throughout the movie.

See it if you can...

Just a little TV stuff, Chuck and Life were both picked up by NBC to finish out their first seasons...Here's hoping that they catch on and stay for even longer than that.

Expect more later.

Craptastic Power Ballads!

Yes, its Duffless and I'm back and torturing you again. I absolutely adore cheesy, hammy, overacted soap operaesque crap rock ballads. To set the stage I'll give you some introductory examples:

1. Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Tyler, I swear the lyrics were written by a romance novelist. Truly craptacular! Fake thunder sounds, a street-wise Hercules fresh from the fight, does it get any better?

2. Meatloaf's- I'll Do Anything for Love, But I Won't do That. People always joke about what Meatloaf will or won't do, which yes is/was kinda funny - however one of the greatest/crappiest/greatest rock lyrics of all time is found in that song and is always overlooked. "Would you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?" So we are to believe that this woman is so enflamed with desire for the Loaf, that nothing short of holy water could possibly cool her down? Classic!

Which brings us to one of my all time favorite Craptastic Power Ballads - which really cannot be fully appreciated without watching the video. Allow me to present - Heart's - All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You.

The gist of the plot -

1. On a rainy night, a woman alone picks up a hitchhiker and takes him to a seedy motel room and proceeds to bone him all night and leaves the next day.
2. Another rainy night a few years later she finds herself back at that same motel, this time holding her son.
3. The hitchhiker now works at the motel's front desk. He looks at her child and immediately recognizes that he is the father because of his similar eyes.
4. The women confesses that she loves another man but he couldn't knock her up so she went out to get herself pregged up, but she really appreciated all the orgasms and the gift of her bastard son.

Things to think about:
1. Hello, AIDS anyone? This was 1990, people were living in fear of getting AIDS and here is some woman riding(hee hee) around trying to get knocked up.
2. Invitro was readily available in 1990, as was adoption.
3. She not only picked up a stranger on the side of the road, but he didn't even have a coat or an umbrella in the rain - man she got lucky this dude was 90s style hot.
3a. Despite the lyrics clearly stating that he was indeed wearing no coat, you see that in the video he is wearing a cool guy leather jacket and at one point has apparently and gentlemanly given it to her to wear over her shoulders - he only removes it to make sweet and tender love to her. Also note that despite the rain, when he gets in the car he's some how completely dry.
4. She left the next morning, and we are supposed to believe he was upset about this?? Sounds like the ideal situation for him, you have to presume she paid for the room the night before. Free sex and no awkward morning after,dream come true! If a 90s Wilson sister bangs you, you pray, PRAY, she is gone the next morning, especially if its Anne or is it Nancy, which ever the shittier, fatter one is - I can't tell, its all in soft focus and slimming black side panels.
5. Notice the blonde Wilson sister worshiping her phallic like guitar at the 1:20 mark and at the end of the video. All hail the powerful sperm filled cock!
6. He loved that women who boned him so much that he got a job working at the motel so she could find him? Yeah, creepy PSYCHOs never work at motels.
7. He determined paternity based on eye color. WTF
8. If you are in a highschool english class where your teacher just showed you that songs are really poetry, listen up you can use these next subtle metaphors: "He brought the woman out of me, So many times, easily" - OH YEAH!!!
"And in the morning when he woke all, I left him was a note, I told him I am the flower you are the seed We walked in the garden We planted a tree" - I don't get this one, its far too subtle for me, pure poetry! Andrew Marvell move over!

Well, I hope you've enjoyed this flashback. Remember, wrap that shit.

Lists

I'll be quite honest...generally I hate making lists. I don't make shopping lists, I don't make to do lists, I don't make christmas lists...I do however enjoy a TOP LIST...for example the delayed but happening Top 50 Songs of all time list, the AFI top 100 Movies list, and especially the Classic Rock Top 500 Classic Rock Songs of All Time Memorial Day Weekend List. Here is a list, I don't get. The VH1 Greatest Songs of the 80's list. I'd have included a link straight to their site, but apparently the VH1 website is more difficult to navigate than either the various "ways" of boston, be it the Jamaica, River, VFW Park, West Roxbury Park or whatever, or The Boston Herald's website. Anyway, I will state at first that I have no problem overall with the list...Because A) it was voted on by viewers and people are stupid and B) no one contacted either Duffless or myself, so really, this list isn't valid.
100 Greatest 80s Songs List

First off I'll start at the top...This list is crap for the simple reason that the top 6 songs, aren't even the best songs by the artists that sang them, with the exception of Princes When Doves Cry...that one belongs, even higher than 5.! Pour Some Sugar On Me? Hasn't anyone ever heard of Photograph? Livin' On A Prayer, good song, but No Wanted Dead Or Alive....And the Hall And Oates Song? First off, find yourself in the 20's, and change your name to Maneater or Private Eye, and we'll talk...And Billy Jean? REALLY, I Mean Really? Not Thriller? Ok, that one could be argued, which one was the better song, and whether or not the thriller video enters into it.

I'm not going to get too picky with the actual spots on the list, but I'm pretty sure this list was voted on by people that weren't even alive in the 80's...My evidence? Please look at numbers 30-33. Again, I could go even further, but how is any of those songs not in the top 20? Love is a Battlefield? Top 10. Tainted Love, arguably top 10, Sister Christian? Only one of the greatest rock anthems of all time top 15 at least. Queen and David Bowie, under pressure? How is that not better than Hall and Oates at number 6, the only reason that this atrocity could occur is that people thought the song came out in the 70's, or the backlash of Vanilla Ice sampling it, really hurt.

I'll give the show credit, it did well, not so much with the rankings, but with the former 80's stars that they were able to russle up and interview...as well as some nice where are the now segments (The chick from Berlin is definitely Wicked Hot even today), but the actual rankings were putrid, I know viewers voted them in, but couldn't there have been a veto process?

Also, here is a list of the top songs of the last 25 years that VH1 Did as well, in case you are interested.
VH1 Top Songs List

Finally I may as well just do it...My top 10 Songs of the 80's list admittedly, this list is going to be songs that I'd have seen on MTV or heard on the radio, so VERY commercial radio driven:

10. Tainted Love (Soft Cell)

9. Don't Stop Believin' (Journey)

8. Jump (Van Halen)

7. Sister Christian (Night Ranger)

6. Love Is A Battlefield (Pat Benetar)

5. Don't You Want Me Baby (Human League)

4. Take on Me (A-HA)

3. Thriller (Michael Jackson)

2. Rocket Queen (Guns And Roses)

1. When Doves Cry (Prince)

Of course I should really do a list where I break this down by Pop and Rock, but really this blog isn't all about lists...

Ok, so one more thing, if anyone sees me with a starbucks cup these days, please punch me in the face, the Egg Nog Latte is out, and I CAN NOT AFFORD either the costs or the caloric intake. I'd drink those all day, every day if I could. But that's a story for another day I guess.

Ok, What The F' Was I Thinking?

How can I not blog for OVER A MONTH!?!?!?! Sorry, not going to happen again. Little Recap of what's going on. First and foremost, the Sox are in the world series. Tomorrow night is game one, and while this isn't a Sports Blog, I'll admit, the sox in the playoffs means less time for me to blog. There's just too much going on.

Also, New TV Seasons are upon us. In addition to Fuge Favorites How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, Friday Night Lights and the entire Thursday Night comedy lineup on NBC (besides 30 Rock, I just never got into it), I'm going to add two new shows to my watching schedule...

First, a show that I wouldn't say is very stimulating on an intellectual level, but VERY stimulating on the Hot Chick level is Chuck. Chuck is the story of a computer geek turned spy when his old college roommate sends him a file that he shouldn't see. Anyway, this show has some funny parts to it, it has a man named Jayne from Firefly/Serenity in it, and it has attractive new chicks. All in all, I can't complain.

My second new show is also on NBC...it's called Life. I'll admit, I watched this show purely based on the fact that the star was Col. Dick Winters from Band Of Brothers...which is one of my favorite TV Shows/Miniseries/Movies of all time. The show's main plot is this: Cop (Dick Winters, and yes, I know he has a character name, and an actual name, but he will be known as Dick Winters from here on) is wrongly accused and convicted of a heinous crime and sent to jail. Now, for those of you who don't know about Jail, first thing you need to do is go rent Lock Up/American History X/Blood In Blood Out/An Innocent Man/Oz/Escape From Alcatraz/Shawshank Redemption et al, so you know exactly what happens to a cop in jail...it's not pretty. He's in jail for 12 years before he's exonerated by DNA evidence (sounds like the work of the Innocence Project to me). When he gets out, he gets a huge settlement from the city, and is allowed his old job back with a promotion to detective. Of course, Dick not only solves the crimes, and makes up for lost time in the bedroom, but he is also trying to find out who framed him and caused him to spend 12 years in the joint. Great show! Also, I don't want to sound all sexist, and whatnot, but this show also features very attractive women...just sayin'

That's really it for new shows, and let me tell you, I really love the fact that you can watch the shows on NBC.Com for free...some have commercials every 7 or 8 minutes, but most of the time, they aren't even there and I watch it uninterrupted.

Ok, what else...Oh Yeah...Commercials. I know this is far from an original thought, BUT, I can tell you that unless there are very extreme circumstances, I will not be purchasing or viewing, or using any of these products if I can avoid it: Chevy Trucks, Frank TV, Hardwood Flooring from Lowes or Cingular/ATT. I'll tell you why. You're commercials are annoying, and actually lead me to want to BOYCOTT your product. I'll start at the beginning...Chevy Truck, I know you probably signed a contract with Johnny Cougar to use "This is Our Country" in so many commercials, but The American Public is absolutely DONE with it. I can't believe it EVER helped sell a vehicle for you. It doesn't matter if you change the background to the commercial or remix the music, it's still teh same fucking song! And we're sick of it! Give us something else. Now Frank TV...I know you are a talented impressionist, I still say your John Madden is impeccable...your Dr. Phil...not so much, but anyway, can that carry a whole show? Secondly could TBS please promo a show that isn't even going to be aired until two months later, so incessantly that I and many others will NOT tune in when it finally comes on? I think so.

Ok, Lowes, you're next...you have an actress use the term Labradoodle in your commercial. Not only will I never buy hardwood flooring from you, I now want to kick anyone who would ever use the word Labradoodle. And maybe even their Labradoodles themselves.

and finally...Cingular/ATT...I'm not necessarily as upset by the content of your commercial...Just the timing, you are airing a commercial starring Roger Clemens...who decided to play for the Yankees this year...The Yankees aren't in the playoffs anymore, and Clemens may have played his last game after injuring himself during a playoff loss to the Indians...that's not very timely of you.

Now for some Kudos...Miller High Life commercials...Keep it up! The addition of the Certified Purveyor commercials are genius...Two Hot Dogs Any Way I want Them This is my kind of place! Miller High Life...Keep it up! That's it for now, but Hopefully I'll have more blogs soon...Go Sox!

Another Loss

The Duffless Foundation is sad to announce that another favorite has passed away. Only a few months after Charles Nelson Reilley left us, he was joined by his partner in crime...Brett Somers.

Somers as many of you will know was married to Jack Klugman of Quincy and Odd Couple fame...It was Klugman who suggested that The Match Game use his wife as a regular panellist, and a legend was born. Brett, who's wigs and big glasses became a staple of the game show era, was a constant on the Match Game for many, many years.

The big Three of the match game were definitely Brett, Charles and Richard Dawson (often called Dickie by Brett)...and now two of them are gone. They say things happen in threes, and I just hope that Richard is in a clean state of health, although knowing his reputation, he probably has picked up any of a number of sexual diseases with his playboy lifestyle.

Somers was born in New Brunswick Canada, before moving to New York to be an actress...She was involved in many Broadway productions, but is probably most famous for being the wife of Jack Klugman, she had three children, two with Klugman, and one from a previous marriage.

She will be missed, by friends, family and The Duffless Foundation.

Duffless Foundation That Guy Hall of Fame

I apologize for the lack of blogs..100% of the Foundation has moved in the past couple of weeks, so we apologize, that being said, I think we owe you something, anything really. So without further ado...The Duffless Foundation That Guy Hall of Fame is inducting a new member.

This was a staple portion of the duffless foundation for about one month back in 2006, so why not, let's bring it back...

This months that guy has been in many films...in fact I feel like he's been ini a million movies...and a bit of trivia he was Hannibal Lechter way before anyone started winning oscars. Today's entry into the That Guy Hall Of Fame definitely follows the rules of the game...which of course is...Mention a movie...someone asks you who is in it, you say the actors name, and when they look at you not knowing who you are talking about you say...you know, he was the guy that was the bad guy in whatever movie...and then they say...Oh yeah That Guy! We all know how it works...

But anyway, Today's nominee is none other than Brian Cox...Who's that you say? Well, he is not the former nfl linebacker that was suspended for flipping off fans (remember when that was a suspendable offense?) and won a superbowl with the Patriots. I'm talking Brian Cox who you might know best as The Headmaster from the movie Rushmore...Oh yeah...That Guy!

Brian has been in such movies as the aforementioned Rushmore, XMen, Running With Scissors, The 25th Hour, The bourne movies, Adaptation, The Rookie, For The Love Of The Game, Braveheart, and what must have been his proudest moment...The Glimmer Man starring Steven Seagal. I mean, check him out on IMDB this guy has been in tons of movies. He's from Scotland, but he's played Scots, Brits, Yanks, Irishmen, and apparently Russians too.

So Brian Cox, congratulations on having a name that will not only always make immature people giggle, but will also be remembered as being in the Duffless Foundation That Guy Hall of Fame.

Duffless Foundation Guest Blog Series

While the Foundation is the preeminent Pop Culture Think Tank in the world, sometimes we need some help from the outside. So, we've decided to start the Duffless Foundation Guest Blog Series. The first of this series has been submitted by my buddy Kyle. We look forward to Kyle's post, as well as future entries in the Duffless Foundation Guest Blog Series.

Without any more hullabaloo here we go:
This Labor Day weekend, Dimension Films releases 'Halloween' nationwide,marking yet another unfortunate remake of a cult classic. Actually, the new 'Halloween' movie has been rumoured to not be a straight remake of the original, but rather an updated 're-imaged' version from Rob Zombie who wrote, produced, and directed the new film.

Honestly is Hollywood completely out of ideas that they need to 're-imagine' one of the greatest horror movies of my lifetime?

For those of you not familiar with the film, here's my recap of the 1978 original: Flashback, a young Michael Myers kills his sister, Judith with a kitchen knife. Now present day, we are introduced to Myers' psychiatrist,Dr. Sam Loomis, who's the only person on earth who even has a hunch that Myers is "purely and simply... evil". Myers steals a nurse's car to escape from the mental institute where he's been locked up for 15 years. Myers presumably kills a guy for his full-body mechanic jumpsuit and takes Judith's tombstone. Next, Myers breaks into a hardware store, steals a mask, and spies on some high school chicks. Myers then proceeds to kill a dog, a dude with Ambervision sunglasses, and two high school chicks who either smoked pot, drank beer, had sex, or some combination of the three.Finally, Myers tries to kill a goody-two-shoes babysitter, but his killing spree is interrupted by Dr. Loomis who shoots Myers what appears to be six times in the chest at point blank range. Myers falls from the second story of house to the ground below, and when Loomis checks on him, Myers is gone. The end.

What's to re-imagine?

Alright, maybe Ambervision is a bit dated, fine. And I guess one can point out some minor sequences and abnormalities in the original film that don't necessarily add up. For instance, in the original 'Halloween' I've always wondered how Myers knew how to drive a car during his escape from the mental hospital and later cruise around Haddonfield. And even if Myers did take Judith's tombstone,I'd be willing to bet anyone $500 that he wouldn't be able to lift it himself, including up a flight of stairs for display over Annie Brackett's dead body. But do these things really warrant a re-imagining of the entire film?

The original 'Halloween' predates Mrs. Vorhees, Freddy Kruger, and all the other slasher movies from the 80's. It combines the right mix of a creepy soundtrack, "did I just see that" spooky moments, and surprisingly great acting from the entire cast to catapult itself to be tops on my list of all time great horror films.

However, what stands out the most as making the original 'Halloween' so unique amongst slasher movies, is the absence of blood, guts, and gore. In the original film, Michael Myers suffocates, strangles, even stabs his victims, but throughout the entire movie there is really no trace of blood in any scene. Given Zombie is at the helm of the new film, I have a feeling that blood, guts, and gore will be a big part of his re-imagined version.

I'm really not sure what to expect from the new 'Halloween'. Overall, I'm really not looking forward to it, and I think it's a disgrace that its even being made. But to Zombie's credit, I did enjoy his 'The Devil's Rejects' and 'House of 1,000 Corpses', at least up until the host from MTV's Singled Out was killed off. Plus, Zombie's 'Thunderkiss '65' was the opening theme for the original ECW shows, so I can't completely knock him. Not yet,anyways.

Unlike The Bad News Bears remake a few years back, which I absolutely refuse to see (maybe another time I'll explain that), I will see 'Halloween' and I'm almost certain I will hate it.

Maybe thirty years from now when Dimension Films creates a re-re-imagined' Halloween' based on Zombie's re-imagined 'Halloween', the marketing department will re-imagine the release date to be actually on or around Halloween and not Labor Day.

Maybe?

Dan's Top Ten Challenge!

Ok, so in response to my Appetite for Destruction post, loyal reader and fellow blogger Dan of VonTrapperKeeper fame, has issued me a challenge to come up with my top 10 albums of my lifetime...and also, top 10 albums of my formative years (ten years of age and after). That is pretty easy for me, since I'm 30, I'll just say, top 10 of my lifetime and the top 10 of the last 20 years. Now anything made in 1976 qualifies as my lifetime, even if it was released before I was actually born...And I'm going to consider 1987 the cutoff to the formative years portion of the poll, so anything released from 1987 through the present is fair game. Also, this isn't a list based on anything in particular...It's not based on Sales, or Airplay or some critics view on what is considered musically superior to everything else. Although to be honest, most of the albums on here are more or less commercially successful. I was going to put some lesser known stuff on here, but I realized, when it boils down to it, I really don't think these albums were worthy...I may do a top 10 list of albums that no one else has ever heard of list at some point, but right now I'm sticking to the task at hand.

Without further ado, here we go...The Top 10 Albums of my lifetime:

as usual Casey Kasem style

Number 10...Weezer Pinkerton (1996) My favorite Weezer album and I feel an album from one of my favorite band should be included here. El Scorcho is one of the greatest songs of all time (yes that does mean it will make my top 50), and the rest of the album is just behind it in quality...Sadly The Weez doesn't seem to like this album as much as I do, and only play El Scorcho in concert...but whatever It's my list not Rivers...he can continue on with his Asian fetish on his own time.

Number 9...Faith No More, The Real Thing (1989) Another of my favorite bands, and another album that needs to be included. This one was actually a very difficult one because Angel Dust of even King For A Day are also great albums, I actually picked this one based upon the fact that of the FNM albums, it had the greatest commercial success, and biggest hits. I know that may be a shitty way of thinking it, and kind of contradicts my number 10 selection, but I really don't have A Favorite FNM album, so I went with this one.

Number 8...The Clash, London Calling (1977) Such a wide range of music on this Double LP, that I just found out from Wikipedia was sold as a single album because The Clash Duped the Record company into including a free 12 Inch single in the album, which they then recorded as a full album. The straight up punk, the reggae, rockabilly all work really well in this album, and definitely makes it's place on this list.

Number 7...Prince, Purple Rain (1984) This one could be much higher really, so I'll say this, from 7 through 4, any of these could move up or down this list...it's not set in stone. But How could I not include this...I mean, When Dove's Cry, Purple Rain, Let's Go Crazy, Darling Nikki...So great. And that man can play guitar, and sing. Best 10 Dollars I ever spent going to see him at the Fleet Center a few years ago...or was it the TD BankNorth Garden by then?

Number 6...Pearl Jam 10 (1991) This album really was High School for me...you know...flannel shirts, converse all stars, baggy jeans...it was all there. And even though I haven't liked really anything other than bits and pieces of the album Vs....this album stands the test of time...Alive, Evenflow, Black, Jeremy etc. etc. etc....all very good.

Number 5...Van Halen 1984 (1984) I love David Lee Roth...And I love Michael Anthony's backing vocals...and I Love Alex Van Halen's large drum set, and I even love Eddie Van Halen's Guitar and piano playing. I mean, how awesome an album could there be? Jump, Panama and Hot For Teacher...So Great. Great videos, hot chicks, split kicks...what else could you ask for?

Number 4...Nirvana Nevermind (1991) Don't give me this shit about how Bleach is better or whatever...This Album literally changed my life. Along with 10, this album led me out of the morass that is Hair Bands, into a new era...It didn't last all that long, because shortly after this stage I started listening to more Hard Core and Metal, but it really did change my life. My mother used to get scared during the days that I played this album over and over again, maybe not as scared as Guns and Roses, because there wasn't the blatant use of swear words, but still scared.

Number 3...Michael Jackson, Thriller (1982) OK, this has to go here, because this album really did shape my childhood...I mean, first of all the Thriller Video is one of the greatest things ever...especially the behind the scenes making of thriller that was always on TV. But look at this listing of tunes: Wanna Be Starting Something, P.Y.T, Billie Jean, Beat It, Thriller...So f'n good.

Number 2...Beastie Boys, Paul's Boutique (1989) This Album, which did some great sampling, back when you could sample without getting sued. And I mean, it's just great. In Egg Man alone, there are samples from Psycho, Jaws, Cheech and Chong's Next Movie, Aliens, Curtis Mayfield's Superfly, Elvis Costello's Pump It Up, The Commodore's I'm Ready, Dance To The Music by Sly and the Family Stone, Bring the noise by Public Enemy, and Drop it in the Slot by Tower of Power...And that's just one song! Plus the Lyrics are tremendous and I'm willing to say that Hey Ladies, Shadrach and Shake Your Rump will be well received at any party.

Number 1...Guns and Roses, Appetite for Destruction (1987) I don't really feel like going through every thing with this album, so please check out my previous post.

Top 10 Albums of my Formative Years 1987 through 2007.

10. NWA Straight Outta Compton (1988) I needed some Gangsta Rap...now didn't I? And why not the Gangsta Rap Supergroup that is NWA...Ice Cube, Dr. Dre and Easy E? Come on now...NO BRAINER.

9. U2 Joshua Tree (1987) Here's the thing, I'm not even a big U2 fan...really, I'm not. I could give two shits about the stuff released after this album. My partner in crime Duffless is the U2 aficionado in the Foundation. But this album is still great. And yes, maybe it's because I grew up watching MTV 24 hours a day, but Still Haven't Found What We're Looking For, Where The Streets Have No Name, With Or Without You, and Running To Stand Still, are some great tunes...I think I actually like War better, but it's out of the time frame.

8. Oasis, What's The Story (Morning Glory) (1995) Remember I told you that I became a fan of the Hardcore Metal scene after my quick foray into the Alternative movement of the early 90's...Well, liking this album really got me a lot of grief from my friends. But hey, it's a good album

7. R.E.M Out of Time (1991) I know, everyone's going to give me shit for liking this more than other albums, but I'm sorry, I loved it. When I got my first Discman, this was the first cd I bought for it. Absolutely tremendous...and it paved the way for me to like the older stuff too. And I'll say it, Shiny Happy People isn't as bad as people make it out to be!

6. Pinkerton (see above)

5. The Real Thing (See Above)

4. Ten (See Above)

3. Nevermind (See Above)

2. Paul's Boutique (See Above)

1. Appetite for Destruction (See Previous Post)

I'm sure a lot of these albums will be criticized, or lauded...Either way I look forward to your comments or your own lists.

20 Years Later I'm So F'n Old

July 21st marked the 20th Anniversary of one of the greatest moments in American History. July 21st 1987 was the release date of the single greatest album released in my lifetime. The Band Guns and Roses...The Album Appetite for Destruction. It sold over 15 Million copies, a record for a debut album.

Welcome To The Jungle
It's So Easy
Night Train
Out Ta Get Me
Mr. Brownstone
Paradise City
My Michelle
Think About You
Sweet Child Of Mine
You're Crazy
Anything Goes
Rocket Queen

This really was the album of my adolescence. I mean, I was only ten when it came out, but really, I'd say They really hit it big a year or so later, maybe longer, I remember being in 7th grade I think when I had my Guns and Roses shirt, and the posters and magazines and everything else. So that's around 1989 or so. Here's the thing...This Album was popular for like 4 straight years. It wasn't until 1991 that Use Your Illusion was released, and the Guns and Roses/Metallica tour happened. That's 4 years that Appetite was out there and ruled the airwaves...I first remember seeing the video for Welcome To The Jungle when I was in 6th grade I think. Guns and Roses was a constant at school dances (Sweet Child o' Mine and Paradise City only, due to profanities)...We would do the Axl dance, and pretend we were slash playing the guitar. I remember I even attempted to draw Slash in an art project that we had. I think I may have even given the picture to a girl I was keen on...of course I'm an awful artist, and it came out awfully, so it didn't get me anywhere.
I got to see Guns and Roses twice in my life...Once with the Brian May Band...The highlight of that show was when they turned the stage into a large living room, and were playing songs off the G and R Lies EP...and a girl who had a huge tray full of beer and booze dropped it all right there...Hilarity. I also got to go to the Guns and Roses Metallica tour in Foxboro, that almost didn't happen because of Axl's hurt throat and James Hetfield's explosion. During that show, I was treated to a lovely display of women bearing their breasts for the big screen and men showing their appreciation by throwing souvenir cups of soda around the bleachers (thankfully you couldn't get beer by this point).

Eventually as the years went by, Guns and Roses just kind of faded from the limelight...Duff McKagan joined some band with a guy from The Sex Pistols. Izzy Stradlin started the JuJu Hounds...Slash started Slash's Snakepit...Later Slash and Duff joined with former Stone Temple Pilots front man Scott Weiland to form sucessful band Velvet Revolver. Axl has been writing and recording the Chinese Democracy since about 1994...and he toured however briefly with a new lineup which I believe was just him and a bunch of homeless people.

But the real point of this post is that this album has now been around for 2/3rds of my life. 20 Years is a long friggin' time, and it really feels like yesterday that it was new. Time really flies. Anyway, I don't listen to the album multiple times per day like I used to, but every once in a while, I throw it on, I'll never stop listening to it. I mean, just the fact that Rocket Queen is not just one but two of the greatest songs of all time...Paradise City is arguably the greatest rock "Anthem" of all time, and My Michelle has some of the greatest lyrics ever put to paper. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I'm f'n old...but I love Appetite for Destruction.

Remembering Yaz, not that he died or anything.

Now before you jump to conclusions...this ISN'T a sports blog. But a little background is necessary. When I was growing up, I totally Idolized Carl Yastrzemski of the Red Sox. I'm not sure why, by the time I knew what I was doing, he was well past his prime, and just playing out the strings collecting milestone hits and whatnot before retiring. I didn't see him in 67 when he was the last player to hit for the triple crown, nor was I really a fan when they played in 1978 (Bucky F'n Dent)...so I really never saw his good years, but regardless, I loved the guy. I lovd the guy so much that my Dad got me an Autographed framed picture of his that I proudly displayed in my bedroom. This picture later became the stuff of legends around my friends, who when crashing at my place after drinking have sworn that a Surly Carl Yastrzemski spoke to them in their sleep, telling them not to go to the bathroom. Anyway, I got to meet Yaz a few years ago, and he really did turn out to be as advertised...Kind of a prick. As Sparky Anderson said in David Wells Book, when asked how he would pitch to Yaz if he was playing today, I'd drill that Polish Son Of A Bitch and pitch to the next guy.

Anyway, I was watching TV the other day, and I'm very happy to say that someone has decided to imortalize old Number 8 in another way, and this is by naming a product after him. To the Foundation members I give you YAZ...The Only Birth Control Pill With Proven Efficacy For the Emotional and Physical Symptoms of PMDD.

Yaz has joined Nadz hair removal product as one of the funniest product names of all times! I mean, who doesn't laugh when they hear Nadz...well now, everytime you think of Fuge's favorite surly Polish Ballplayer, you'll think of Birth Control! What I find truly humorous about the commercial though, is that apparently women, when they go out to a night club, immediately start talking about what kind of birth control they are on...and what the pros and cons of the products are. Who knew?!?! Guys just talk about sports, and chicks, and movies and stuff. Maybe we should be talking about what kind of vitamins we take, or what kind of condom we prefer. Anyway, I know this isn't the greatest post of all time, but everytime I see the commercial I have to chuckle...Yaz...Triple Crown...Birth Control.

Good times

Frenchie!

So I was "watching" tv today while playing poker and heard a familiar voice. I look up and a commercial for French's Mustard in on. The voice I recognized was one DiDi Conn, aka "Frenchie" from the movies Grease and Grease 2. This had me wondering a few things:
1. Did they approach her?
2. Was this her idea to get some extra bucks because of her name as "Frenchie"?
3. Wasn't she on Benson?
4. Am I the smartest girl in the world for making the French's/Frenchie connection?

So I go to youtube find the commercial and 2 people have already made the connection. Alas, I'm not to be the first on Everest.
So to answer some of my questions, yes, it was her and yes she was indeed on Benson. To answer your unspoken question, yes, unless I find these two people I will die cold and unloved. However, before my uselessness to society kills me, might I suggest that French's pursue the mom from Better Off Dead for their next commercial?

Please to enjoy:

The Worst of SNL, by popular demand

Duff’s Top 10 Worst SNL Cast Members

1. Melanie Huttsel – my number one pick with a bullet. Sure she was fantastic as Jan Brady, and very good as Tori Spelling. However, she made that same goddamned face for every character, and that out of breath voice.. Uggg…she had ZERO range. ZERO.


2. Robert Downey Jr – I don’t care how coked up he was, he had no reason to be on this show.


3. Anthony Michael Hall – ditto, minus the coke.


4. Maya Rudolph – Ok, I know this might ruffle some feathers, but she’s been on the show what, 10 years? Are her boringly repetitive impressions of Whitney Houston and Donatella Versace even funny, or relevant? The Nuni skit has been on like 5x, wtf. Sure, she can sing, I’ll give her that, but this is a comedy show. Her tired skits bring this show down.


5. Terry Sweeney – Through no fault of his own. He was funny, but the show just didn’t know what to do with him. He was great as Nancy Reagan, however the show didn’t know what to do with an openly gay cast member. To my knowledge he’s the only openly gay cast member in history. So, he’s on my worst list not because of him, but because so called “edgy” SNL wasn’t able to write for him. While I love SNL, they would have been better to been riskier in their comedy. Past season 1 or 2, snl has never been edgy, counterculture or even the slightest bit non mainstream.


6. Chevy Chase – Yes, he was funny, yes he was good on update and as Ford etc. However, he is known for being the biggest asshole to ever take the stage at SNL. I don’t think I’ve ever read a good word about him on the show, other than from Lorne Michaels. By all accounts he was very racist and homophobic. I believe he told Terry Sweeney to die of Aids, if memory serves. Good riddance. Why has such a terrible man, made so many things I love? FLETCH!


7. Chris Kattan – sure, he’s kinda funny. But I can’t think of a sketch of his that didn’t make me groan. A few Mangos were funny, just a few. Gay Hitler, yeah that was good, but how old is that joke?


8. Jay Mohr – I want to put him on this list, because I feel like he never fit in. He always felt more like an actor than a comic. However, his fantastic Googly eye-d Andrew McCarthy impression was spot on, and he was an early adopter of the now overused Walken impression. So he is spared. I’ll put Beth Cahill in this spot, because I don’t even remember her being on the show at all.


9. Jerry Minor – Very funny guy, as shown by his Mr. Show appearances, but totally underused on SNL. I think they were shopping around for token black guys and sent him back to the bench.


10. Jim Belushi – A man only famous because of the death of his brother. I don’t see much talent here at all, his career is suspect. He’s also the #1 target of David Cross, and that’s good enough reason for me.

Fuge's Bottom 10
I'd like to start off by saying that My bottom 10 includes the Entire cast of 1985-1986 besides John Lovitz, Dennis Miller and Nora Dunn. No business being on the show at all. So here it goes.

Countdown Style:

Number 10. Joan Cusack. I mean, she is just on the cursed 1985-86 cast...SO forgettable. I mean, I've liked her post SNL, in movies and whatnot...and find her strangely hot, but sorry, your era was so bad.

Number 9. Randy Quaid. Again, I've appreciated some of his work, especially in the National Lampoons Movies, but SNL, I'm sorry.

Number 8. Melanie Hutsell. I mean, other than the Jan Brady Character, which is almost entertaining, everything else she did was the same thing with just a dumb look on her face, no comedic value at all.

Number 7. Pamela Stephenson. I don't even remember a single character she played...but I know she sucked.

Number 6. Danitra Vance...your season was so forgettable, I don't know who you are...but you have to be on the list.

Number 5. Terry Sweeney. 85-86...Hired to act in drag, which can be funny, and he wasn't bad, but he has to be ashamed of the era.

Number 4 and 3 Anthony Michael Hall and Robert Downey Junior. I am pretty sure they just did this show so they could get high. I mean, Why?

Number 2. Chris Kattan. Fuck You Mango.

Number 1. Jim Belushi. I mean, Brian Doyle Murray is at least pretty funny. You on the other hand, are awful...and should be ashamed of yourself. The only beneficial thing you ever did for society was make the movie The Principal, because besides movies about Martial Arts Style Tournaments, the Principal coming in to clean up the evil High School is right up near the top on my movie Genre list. But awful.

He Said, She Said

Ok, so here goes my SNL Picks, no order.

1. Chris Parnell - a dark horse pick for sure, but also one of the most under-rated cast members of all time. Fired not once, but twice from the show. Always funny, is known for not breaking character (Jimmy and Horatio, i'm looking at you). Last but not least, his raps. Those alone get him on the list.

2. Eddie Murphy - Ok, as per SNL rules you always have to have the token black guy. You have to have a black guy, a fat guy, a very tall guy, a very short guy, a canadian and throw in a few women. Mad props for Ellen Cleghorne for finding a way to get on the show, she was a rule breaker! Ok, back to Murpy, The Best of Eddie Murphy from SNL is one of my all time favorite videos. I think I can still quote it word for word. Between his sketches, short films and impersonations, he is still one of the most talented people snl has ever seen.

3. Norm McDonald - NORM! I'm sorry, but he's hysterical. He can host my Weekend Update anyday. He's brilliant, his celebrity jeopardy 80s Burt Reynolds earns him a spot, his Weekend Update and fuck you NBC/Lorne Michaels type attitude keeps him there. For some laughs check out some of Norm's appearances on Letterman...they are up on youtube and not to be missed.

4. Phil Hartman - UNFROZEN CAVEMAN LAWYER. nuff said

5. Kevin Nealon - I'm glad he's finally being appreciated due to Weeds, but damn he was always funny, a great straight man, and more than fills the tall man spot. He ties together any seat.

6. Martin Short - you need a short man, and I really don't want to sit through any chris kattan shit. While he can be annoying, he can also be brilliant. WAIT, NO FUCK IT. ACKROYD GETS THIS SPOT. He's not a shortman, but I mean come on. Ackroyd all the way. Plus if he gains some weight, he can have the fat guy spot, as neither Belushi nor Farley are making this list.

7.Will Ferrell - He's earned it. Fuge sums it up well. Diamond, Celeb Jeopardy, Cowbell, I could go on. Although I'm relucant to have him on due to the cheerleading, he's more than made up for it, although we do already have a lot of tall guys.

8. This last spot almost went to a lot of people. I considered Tim Meadows, Jon Lovitz, Seth Meyers, Charles Rocket (just for saying FUCK on tv) so I declare a Tie between Dana Carvey and Adam Sandler.

The ladies:
1. Victoria Jackson - so funny as a dumb blonde, also I need me some Love Toilet.
2. Gilda - slam dunk
3. Jane Curtain - perfect for those straight man roles, plus I've heard she's an ignorant slut.
4. Amy Poehler - always funny, always. I do even like when she plays that little annoying little girl.

This was tough, its hard to come up with a cast thats not only good, but you can see working well together. You need people who can be over the top funny, and people who are more dry and clever, you need someone who can do some musical stuff, and you need people who aren't one trick ponies riding out the same sketch over and over again. Also you have to consider the brillant people who just had no place on SNL. There was that season where they wanted to change things up and they brought on Michael Mckeon, Janeanne Garafolo and Chris Elliott. All brilliant comedians, but much to late in their careers to be on SNL. I like SNL as more of a proving ground. I say the same about Bill Murray, Garrett Morris, Brian Doyle Murray, Chris Rock and some other, all funny but just not good on the show.

Your Fantasy SNL Cast.

A fellow SNL Fan sent me around an email in which his friends decided who they would want in their Favorite SNL Cast of all time.

The rules were simple, 8 Males, 4 Females. Then he posted a spreadsheet and people sent around emails discussing the picks...I was happy to be included, and since I haven't posted a blog in a while, I figured, why not bring it to the foundation so that you can try it out yourself.

Here's a link to help you remember who the castmembers were:

http://snl.jt.org/cast/listcast.phtml

So here's my cast, and the reason why I picked them...

Males:

John Belushi. I mean, I needed one classic cast member on there. And come on now, Joe Cocker? Belushi was great.

Chris Farley. I decided to keep the fat dead guy theme going. Also, the skit with him and greatly coiffed Patrick Swayze as Chippendale's dancers is one of the greatest things ever put on film.

Dana Carvey. When I was growing up, It was all about Carvey, Chopping Brocolli, Church Lady Wayne's World...which brings us to:

Mike Meyers. Again, Wayne's World. And Lothar of the Hill People, and Coffee Talk, all brilliant in my opinion.

At the halfway point we are definitely top heavy on the late 80's early 90's, let's try to change that a bit...

Will Ferrell...I mean, I think I'd put him in here JUST for his work as James Lipton, but throw in Alex Trebek, Cowbell and Neil Diamond Storyteller, and you just have a winner.

Adam Sandler, I'll admit, I loved Opera Man. Moreso than the Crazy Costume guy or Cajun Man. I also think that the skits where he played Shannen Doherty's ex boyfriend, and the "You Can't Get There From Here" is worth it. Plus I'm giving him lots of credit for Billy Madison, which I know isn't an SNL skit, but I do love it so.

Norm MacDonald...again, I think this is mostly because I LOVE Norm MacDonald. I mean, his voice alone cracks me up. Also his work as fake Burt Reynolds on Celebrity Jeopardy alone gets him on this list. And he can help out on Weekend Update.

To finish out the list...I went with Darrel Hammond. And I'm not even sure why, I think because of his Clinton, and definitely the Sean Connery stuff on Celebrity Jeopardy...I love Celebrity Jeopardy, And to give some credence to the new cast, although he's been on so long, it isn't like he's really new or anything.

Female

Now these two, I'll admit I'm including because I've had a fantasy about having a threesome with them on the weekend update desk for a while now....

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. So Hot!

Next I went with Molly Shannon...I think she did some great work, people seem to remember her mostly for Mary Catherine Gallagher, but she did a lot more in my opinion. Especially her work as Monica Lewinsky...with John Goodman as Linda Tripp.

Finally, I had to go Old School and go with Gilda Radner...She was Just great...Roseanne Rosanadanah, Barbara Wawa and the old lady on Weekend Update that would get corrected and then say Never Mind.

So there it is, it's not so much a glorification of my opinions as I'm opening the floor to you, the foundation to give your own lists, and to criticize mine.

Also, A personal note...I will be moving to Somerville soon!

This means that Duffless and I will probably never get to use the "Sides of the River" idea in a post, but it does mean that there will be a higher concentration of Awesomeness on the Cambridge Somerville side of the river...I look forward to much drinking of cheap beer and eating of good food in the davis/teele area!

Dick Stinks!

While I don't want to see this site turn into every other blog that just reposts celebrity news and you tube videos, sometimes there is celeb news so juicy that the foundation MUST report.

Jon Lovitz has literally kicked Andy Dick's ass!

Apparently there has been bad blood between the two of them since Phil Hartman's death. Now I don't know the details, and some reports say that the ass kicking wasn't as bad as reported in this link, but nevertheless, JON LOVITZ KICKED ANDY DICK'S ASS!

http://www.nypost.com/seven/07172007/gossip/pagesix/pagesix.htm

Like I needed anymore reason to love Lovitz!

My Favorite Quote

"The best post apocalyptic movie about dragons ever." - The Boy

I've got problems!

But I'm not alone. Everytime I see this Verizon Fios commercial and I kept thinking that the Dad is a really, really bad parent. I mean he just lets his kid hang around with the Fios guy, visiting his truck, while he 's busy reading the paper? So I thought, I must be the only freak who's reading this into this innocent commercial. So I went on the hunt to find the clip, and it took me all of 5 seconds. Please to enjoy:

I'm surprised that:
1. Someone took the time to record and upload this commercial to youtube.
2. Other people questioned this guy's parenting skills.
3. 51 people who not only found the commercial, but have commented on it!

Not to bring Baseball into this, after all I'm technically from the Bronx (go sox), this post is just too classic for words:

BronxBomberFan: Terrible paranting in this commercial. You have a cute kid and hes asking if hes talking to the cable guy. THE CABLE GUY IS A PETIFILE!.

I'm sending Bronx Bomber fan a dictionary post haste! "PETIFILE?" "Paranting?" good lord, these!!! are the people with the same sick mind as me?

Monkee Around!

There comes a time in everyone's life when you must stand and be heard. We are defined by our choices. Choose well, or suffer the price. Choosing which Monkee you are willing to bed, just isn't a decision one should take lightly.

In the spirit of, "That was then, this is now" (the Monkee's 80's "hit") I have taken an unresearched journey into my heart, mind and soul to determine my most bed-able Monkee. I will select one Monkee from the past and one Monkee from the present. Whom do you choose?

The Past:

Now you might think that Davy Jones is a slam dunk in this category. Had I but world enough, and a time machine, would I go back in time and steal Marsha Brady's first kiss? I have to say no. While he was marketed at first as the lead singer and the "McCartney" of the group, i.e. the cute one. He just didn't really do it for me. He wasn't "A little bit me, a little bit you", he was however, a little bit short. I like a chap to be the same height as me or taller. Also, as it turned out, he wasn't much more than the tambourine player, as Mickey turned out to be the better singer.

Ah, Mickey, he was my favorite back in the day. He was funny, had big goofy hair and could sing. However, the incessant impersonations of Jimmy Cagney left much to be desired, he had an almost spastic "RobinWilliamsesque" quality to him that I think I'd have a hard time dealing with, although this untapped energy in bed could be a plus.

Now to take the Last Train to Torksville. Peter Tork was probably my second favorites. He was cute in a goofy, corn fed kinda way. He seemed innocent enough, like the kind of guy who wouldn't give you an STD. The way his bangs fell in his eyes was always cute, but they made him seem too dumb on the show, he was like Woody on Cheers.

The smart one was of course, Mike Nesmith. He was the "Zappa" of the band. If I remember correctly there was an episode where he and Zappa played each other. Now, this gave him massive street cred. However, it always seemed like Mike Nesmith was far too concerned with appearing "counterculture enough", I remember one episode where he kept on saying "groovy", and talking about "the man". I think he tried too hard, although, that's not a bad quality in bed. Plus, if he knocked me up my child might find a way to cash in on some of the Liquid Paper money. (I believe his mother invented it - keep in mind, this blog has not been researched other than my memory). But the hat, what the hell was under that snow hat? I think I'll have to pass. I'm just not cool enough to bed Nesmith.

So my winner is….Mickey! I likes me a funny guy, so I guess I'll just have to take some Ritalin in my time machine or get him baked enough to chill him the f out. He better exercise that drummer stamina!

Now, on to the Present Day, or as present as this photo will allow, not sure when it was taken.

Mickey is out. His quirky good looks did NOT hold up the test of time. He doesn't sing anymore (that I know of), and his daughter was in She's Out of Control with Tony Danza – I don't like things Danza related. However, she was also in Miracle Beach with my boy Dean Cameron (Chainsaw from Back to School) – I wonder if he's single? Anyway, I haven't heard of him being up to much of anything since the mid 80's so I rule him out.

Davy, he's probably held up to the elements the best of all Monkees. His cute, young face has helped him age gracefully, and man that accent is too cute. He had a fantastically self deprecating cameo in The Brady Bunch Movie, however, I think I have to officially hit cougar status before I take him on, and I'm about 7 years shy of that.

On to Nesmith... I know he produced REPO MAN in the 80s...that earns him some mad props. But I just can't go hop into bed given his mysterious past 20 years. Also, he was very reluctant to reprise his role in the band in the 80s when they had their come back, he only caught the tail en of it, so fuck him.

So..the winner is PETER TORK. He has aged pretty well, still seems like a cool guy, plus he's a professional touring banjo player, I think he was just at the Paradise the other weekend. He's really, really good. If there's anything that can get a girl into bed, its a good banjo player.

So there you have it..my then and now Monkee's sexcapade list.

So fair Foundation readers...who is your Monkee?? Gay, straight, male, female, this is a decision no person should take lightly. We all have our reasons for our selections. Give it some thought, or better yet, no thought, and share it with us in the comments section.

Top 50 Songs of All Time

A few years back, pre foundation My Buddy Kyle and I decided to write down our top fifty songs of all time list...then we'd get together drink a bunch of beers and present them to eachother and listen to the songs...

It's about 4 or 5 years later, and after one day reminiscing about how old we were getting (we both were recruited to play on an over 30 softball team this year), we decided to revisit the idea, and when we do, I will bring both lists to you the foundation members.

It's much harder than you think, I mean, you forget so many songs you hear, that you think are awesome, and my list will probably be ridiculed and made fun of for a long time by you guys, but I figure it will be a good time.

The Best of all time lists are one of my favorite things ever. Whether it's VH1 doing the top 100 videos of all time, or the Local Maine classic rock station that provides our memorial day soundtrack with their Memorial Day Weekend Top 500 of all time list...so why not do our own...stay tuned to the Foundation for my official list but here are some of the artists you can expect to see:

The Life Of Reilly

The Duffless Foundation is very sad to hear the news that actor, director and game show personality Charles Nelson Reilly has passed away over the holiday weekend at the age of 76 from complications from Pneumonia . Charles will be sorely, sorely missed.

Reilly was an accomplished stage actor...winning a Tony early in his career. He was also on many television series, and was a frequent contributor to many talk shows, including The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. But who are we kidding, he is best known for his work on the long running game show...Match Game, hosted by Gene Rayburn. Charles was one of many stars who were regulars on the show, but he is often associated with Brett Somers, his neighbor in the top row of stars. Other regulars were Richard Dawson, Fannie Flagg, MacLean Stevenson and Betty White. The Match Game was really a groundbreaking show, with it's risque talk and subject matter.

After the Match Game, and a host of other Game Show appearances, Reilly made many guest appearances on shows such as The Love Boat...The Drew Carey Show, and one of Duffless' favorite xfiles ever. He was nominated for Emmies for both the Drew Carey Show and the Xfiles. He was later nominated for another Tony, this time for direction, and also produced the one man show...The Life of Reilly, in which he came out of the closet for the first time ever.

Charles Nelson Reilly also may be the greatest Halloween Costume I'd ever come up with ...until I pulled off Meatloaf a couple of years ago. I really need to find the pictures of that night.

CNR...you will be missed...and the Duffless Foundation salutes you and your tremendous body of work.

What Has Happened To The Sitcom?

First off...I'd like to also say that our 2 month hiatus was inexcusable and unnecessary, but I will do my best to keep this blog going strong and better than ever. So with that Let's start this blog up again for the second time!

i'm 30 years old...I was born in 1976 that means I was I was around during what I consider the golden age of the sitcom...let's say between the mid 80's and the mid 90's...Back in those days you could count on a steady diet of great 30 minute blocks of comedy, back to back pretty much every night of the week. Let's look at a typical weekly schedule on the 4 networks...every night there were at least two great sitcoms on. For example in 1988/1989 here were the Sitcoms on every night of the week:

Sunday Nights: Family Ties, Married With Children, My Two Dads

Monday Nights: Alf, Valerie's Family, Kate And Allie, Newhart, Designing Women (I'm not saying I liked them all mind you, but hey it's a sitcom)

Tuesday Nights: Who's The Boss, Growing Pains (the Wonder Years was added mid season)

Wednesday Night: Perfect Strangers, Head Of The Class

Thursday Night: Sledge Hammer, The Cosby Show, A Different World, Cheers, Night Court

Friday Night: Full House, Max Headroom

Saturday Night: My Sister Sam, Everything's Relative, Amen, 227, Golden Girls, Facts Of Life.

That's about 30 Sitcoms over the course of the week, and of those I'd say I watched about 15 of them pretty regularly...Let's compare that to 2006/2007.

Sunday Night: The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, War at Home (only one of which is live action!)

MOnday Night: The Class, How I Met Your Mother, New Adventures of the Old Christine, Two And A Half Men

Tuesday Night: None

Wednesday Night: 30 Rock originally aired on Wednesday, but I'll include that on Thursday cause that's where it ended up...so NONE.

Thursday Night: My Name Is Earl, The Office, Scrubs, The Afforementioned 30 Rock. Til Death apparently is on Fox, but I don't think anyone has ever watched this.

Friday Night: None

Saturday Night: None.

So basically 4 nights a week, there isn't a single Sitcom on the air. One night a week there is exactly one sitcom that uses actual actors...all the others are animated. So we'll say basically 4.5 nights a week, there isn't a single sitcom on the air. I figure that makes for 9 maybe 10 sitcoms per week...compared to 3o. Where have they all gone? Why are they not popular anymore.

I realize that there is so much to do these days, with cable, internet, dvd, etc...but back in the day...Thursday night was an event, everyone watched The Cosby Show and Cheers...Everyone! People still make an effort to watch hour long reality shows, or dramas, but not 30 minute comedies? Are they too expensive to make? Are struggling comedians asking for too much money these days?

Sometimes I don't want to invest 1 hour into a show, I want to laugh, and be done with something quick, which is why I love How I Met Your Mother, and the Thursday NBC lineup. but apparently no one else does because the only comedies even in the top 20 of the ratings per week are Two and A Half Men (unwatchable), and King Of Queens (not even on anymore!). I find this so hard to believe, EVERYONE talks about the office. I know for a fact that I will talk to people tomorrow about Pam and Jim going out to dinner! I'm going to talk about The Temp breaking up with Kelly, I'm going to talk about Shrute Bucks, and people are going to know what I'm talking about, yet it's not even in the top 20 of the ratings!

It just bothers me that good quality programming isn't getting made, because it's easier to win in the ratings with a 4th Law and Order, or a different quiz show hosted by a has been actor, or a show where people Sing or Dance and get judged. I may have failed in my attempt to make PBR the number one beer in America for the first time since 1893...but I won't fail in my attempt to bring back the Sitcom to the American Airwaves...

Bruce Campbell is The Man - and We're Back

No excuses, the Foundation dropped the ball these past two months, but now we are back and more useless than ever.

I'm not going to waste too much precious Foundation time to explain in in detail the man, the myth, the legend that is Bruce Campbell. If you haven't seen Evil Dead II, Army of Darkness or Bubba Ho Tep, what are you even doing here? Bruce is, basically the King of all "That Guys." So soon have you forgotten The Adventures of Brisco County Jr, or Jack Of All Trades???

I've been an FOB or fan of Bruce for years now. I was lucky enough to get to meet him and have my copy of his best seller, "If Chin's Could Kill" signed. Presently, he's the new spokesman for Old Spice. Old Spice is smart to use quirky marketing to reach a younger audience, as I believe the average has long since made the pages of the book of the dead. His cult status and "Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way" persona, might just give them the street cred they are looking for, so mad props to the marketing genus behind this. The latest ad just premiered this weekend and its even better than ever. So for your viewing pleasure I present, Bruce and Duran Duran:



For more Bruce action, I suggest you check out Spiderman 3 for no other reason than the Bruce cameo. A life long friend of Sam Raimi, Bruce appears in almost every Raimi movie, in addition to many Coen brother films. So far Bruce has been a Wrestling Announcer, a snooty theater usher/manager and now he's at his cult finest playing a snooty, possibly fake french accented matre'd. The movie was kinda lame, but Bruce's five minutes were spectacular. Word is the scene is up on You Tube, Yahoo, but since I don't feel like being sued this week, I'll leave you with that info. Bruce will also be releasing a documentary movie later this year

The Zombie March 2007 had a few references to Bruce this weekend. A sign recommending the election of Bruce in 2008 and a non zombie, Asian Ash from Evil Dead. Stay tuned for more about the Zombie March later this week. Now Gimme some sugar, baby!

The Oscar Blog 07

Allright, you may ask yourself, why did it take so long to post a blog about the oscars? Well, I have no real excuse...but I hope to not dissapoint with the effort I'm about to undertake. So without further ado...

Fuge's Second Oscars Blogtacular...

A slight change of venue this year, as instead of being home alone drinking by myself, this year Duffless opened up the compound to friends of the foundation...for an Oscars Special Viewing Party. Another difference this year is that I was sick all weekend (great for my Duffless Foundation Mission to bring Pop Culture greatness to Canada let me tell you) so I wasn't able to match my drinking escapades of years past...I hope this won't take away from your entertainment value...I'd like to think that I can still bring you as much entertainment without the help of mass amounts of alcohol, but who am I kidding?

Well anyway, without further ado for the second time:

6:45 Pm Duffless Compound and the first ever Duffless Foundation Oscars Special Viewing party...Beer, Snacks, Friends, 2 tvs, and good times for all. E on the tv, oscars pool sheets being filled out, we're ready to go.


A few questions from the pregame show that I have...First off, why is Ryan Seacrest famous again? He doesn't seem to have any talent, he isn't funny, he's not incredibly good looking, in fact I'm pretty sure that he must have some kinda dirty pictures that he's using to blackmail various network heads and executives.
Is Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu actually Julio Iglesias from 20 years ago?






How difficult a choice was it for Meryl Streep to choose what child she brought with her to the Oscars?

Since I'm watching the Oscars in a crowd this year, I'll be sure to bring you the great quotes from the peanut gallery.

You see, I'm not a woman, therefore I don't think the same way as women do, and I was quite sure of this while watching the red carpet, normally my critique of people coming up the carpet would be "She looks hot" or "He has awful hair". But women take it to another level...My favorite example was this:

"Beyonce Looks Less Oily Than She Usually Does"

"Yeah, She Looks Like She Forgot The Body Butter"

What does that mean?

I don't know...well anyway, On to the show.

8:30 PM Apparently everyone who was ever nominated was involved in some sort of a montage, I love a montage, but this was tough, Basically it was a bunch of people you've never heard of saying how many times they've been nominated and yet they've never won.

Peter O'Toole is shown...I'm going to need proof that this guy isn't already dead...He looks worse than the nazi's after they opened the arc of the covenant in Raiders of the Lost Arc.

8:40 PM The show actually starts. People were wondering what Ellen DeGeneres would be wearing...I'm not sure, but I think it's the tux Beetlejuice wears when he's going to marry Winona Ryder.

They are calling this The Most International Oscars...Ellen incorrectly calls Penelope Cruz a mexican...Awesome...and one of the best supporting actresses from Babel's dates has the best moustache of all time!

8:46 I think by law I have to root for Jennifer Hudson, because we share the same last name...but I think I'd really rather have Dame Judy Dench win or something.

8:47 The first of many jokes about Al Gore losing the election to George Bush...You gotta love those whacky zany liberals making fun of themselves.

8:48 Host Ellen DeGeneres makes a joke about how if there were no Blacks, Jews or Gays in hollywood there would be no Oscars (Duffless from the Peanut Gallery: Sorry Mexicans!)

8:49 and here comes the first award...and Nicole Kidman is handing it out for Art Direction...Apparently no one gave her any artistic direction on picking out her dress with a huge f'n bow on the shoulder.

And Pan's Labyrinth wins...Mexico...Mexico...Mexico.

8:53 and the honor of giving out awards to technical and scientific people that aren't important enough to be on the real show?....Maggie Gyllenhaal...Great job pretending you were interested.

8:57 And apparently it's a musical spot with Will Ferell and Jack Black. Two people who are teetering on the line of never being able to star in a movie by themselves ever again.

Sidenote, I can't decide if Will's hair looks more like an early 80's John McEnroe, Epstein from Welcome Back Kotter or Little Orphan Annie.

Why don't you decide:

Will Ferrell Jack Black Oscar Video








The musical rendition is awesome...A highlight being John C. Reilly explaining that you need to take serious roles, like he did in Boogie nights...All three sexually harrassing Dame Helen Mirren, and Will saying that Marky Mark was actually pretty badass.


9:03 It's historic...The makeup guy from Pan's Labyrinth is the first person to get the gentle nudge from the Orchestra for talking too long....The Musical Push!

9:04 I think Will Smith's son has too many names.

9:06 They are doing some oscar for Short right now...Some Danish people are nominated, and apparently they aren't part of the cool international oscars because they are seated right next to the johns or something.

And West Bank Story (a musical?) I'm intrigued.

9:15 In another reason why the oscars go long every year, they have a choir of people who are doing sound effects on the stage right now...Couldn't they have gotten Michael Winslow to show up and do 2 minutes and save some time?

(from the peanut gallery...Duffless again, I want to hear them make fake fart sounds!)

9:22 is there any doubt in anyone's mind that Apocolypto is not winning a single thing tonight? And yes, I think it has something to do with Mel Gibson's thoughts on the Jews.

925 Someone who is nominated for something, who is probably International has just received the second Musical Push.

9:26 First big category...Best Supporting Actor. Eddie Murphy is the favorite. I think Marky Mark may pull it out...Jackie Earle Haley is of course the one I really want to win, because I want him to mention his role of Kelly Leak...Djimon Honsou chooses the best roles ever, he's been nominated like 3 times, and has only done 4 movies as far as I can tell.

And the winner is...Alan Arkin! Who's crass talking, heroin smoking, grandfather in Little Miss Sunshine was hilarious, but a role that seemed too small for me to win, I'm happy though.

Speaking of that, I'm pretty sure Eddie Murphy won, but then the academy got wind of Norbit and rescinded it's vote. I mean, NORBIT?

9:29, Martin Scorcese's eyebrows are some kind of simbiotic relationship, I'm sure of it.

9:35 This can't be good, Randy Newman is playing piano for James Taylor. Time to grab a snack!

9:36 They are going through the nominees for Best Song. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time in the past 20 years that Phil Collins hasn't been nominated for an oscar for a disney film. And it's only because 3 of the songs are from Dreamgirls. Also Melissa Etheridge is nominated, her girlfriend apparently used to be or still is Lou Diamond Phillips' ex wife, and had David Crosby's baby. I think she should have Steven Stills' baby next.

9:41 They just showed Jerry Seinfield in the crowd and it looked like he just smelled someone elses fart.

9:47 If I was drinking this year, and I had to have more beer drank than Jack Nicholson Sitings, I'd have to have had 4 beers by now.

9:49 George Miller is on stage, he's either wearing a weird scarf, or he has a medical condition that left him with no shoulders.

9:53 Were I not sick, and a pussy, I'd just have had to drink my 5th beer.

9:54 Tom Hanks is onstage, and his hair is much better than it was when he was in the Davinci Code phase.

9:57 That's Six Nicholsons
9:58 Make That 7!

9:59 after a somewhat emotional acceptance speech, the writer for the departed get's a slight musical push...I'll call it a nudge.

10PM 1st beer cracked...Miller High Life Light...I'm pretty sure at this point last year I was 11 beers deep.

1006 I'm pretty sure they just showed Billy Dee Williams, but I can't get confirmation...

1008 The lady who won for costume designer, you'd expect her to be more fashionable. She's dressed up like a school principal or something.

1013...Sherri Lansing just got an award for being a good humanitarian. Her arms are skinnier than a famin victim.

1015 This year there were two movies about 19th century magicians. We haven't had that much overkill since 2 movies about Steve Prefontaine came out at the same time.

10:20 The sillhoutte people making shapes to go along with the movies, just used props...that shouldn't be allowed.

1027 I'm pretty sure that the director of the Oscars has told his camerapeople, if someone starts babbling in a speech, please put a camera on Beyonce's Rack.

10:35 Upset special number 2, Pan's Labyrinth which won every technical oscar in the book, just lost to a German movie for Best Foreign Film, that's like a 15 seed beating a 2 seed in the NCAA championships.

10:36 Faye Dunaway really, really looked like a witch.

10:37 The Sillhouette crew just pulled off snakes on a plane...Good for them! Sidenote, Samuel L Jackson has now starred in yet another movie with Snake in the title. Black Snake Moan. Apparently the movie stars him and Christina Ricci's panties.

10:38 In one of the 3 no brainer categories, Jennifer Hudson wins for Dreamgirls...when she starts stumbling in her speech, they show Beyonce's rack again.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say, this is the last time she'll every be nominated for anything.

10:47 They are doing a short category again, and apparently...US people don't like to make short movies...I wonder why?

10:55 What's more of a slam dunk, Al Gore winning for Best Documentary or me going to bed alone tonight...I'd say it's a push.

11:00 Clint Eastwood is really fuckin' old. He's not Peter O'Toole I think he's dead old...but he's really old.

11:05 From foundation member Alex...via GChat. Alex: I switched to the oscars, saw Celine Dion, threw up, and am now gay.

11:12 Hugh Jackman does a lot of broadway...draw your own conclusions.

I think we just had 2 more Jack Nicholson sightings...I think that's 8 and 9.

11:19 The guy who wrote Little Miss Sunshine (which just one for Original Screenplay) sounds like a real geek. D and D, Star Wars, and Comic Books kinds of geeky.

11:27 From Duffless That may be the best cleavage of the night! (referring to Jennifer Hudson) Her right boob was dangerously close to showing areola.

Currently the Dreamgirls people are singing the three nominated songs in Medley fashion...And Beyonce is singing her ass off...I bet it's because she wasn't nominated and she wants people to know that she is the real star...She seems like that.

11:33 From Duffless, Look at Travolta's Hair Plugs!

11:34 Best original song, the odds say go with Dreamgrils with 60% of the nominations...but no Melissa Ethridge wins for Inconvenient Truth, and imediately goes political. I love Al Gore too!

11:40 Will Smith has the same condition as Dick Clark, he hasn't aged one day since he moved in with Uncle Phil in Bel Air.

11:45 There is another montage...which I thought was about racism...but apparently has become a montage of every movie Michael Mann has ever seen, (duffless)

And for the second time in two events (Oscars and Superbowl) The foo fighters song Best In You is played, unexpectedly.

11:48 Some woman who edits all of Scorcese's films just won an oscar...and Scorcese is crying. I think he may be crying because he's never won, and the editor has won a bunch. Marty is so close to becoming Susan Lucci.

11:50 PARADE OF DEAD!!!!!

The best part of the night...let's see who applauds for who.

Memorable Dead:

Don Knotts (polite applause)
Red Buttons (slightly more than Knotts)
Darren McGavin (Polite Applause)
Maureen Stapleton( Polite applause)
James Doohan (beam me up scotty, Polite applause)

Apparently people have been instructed to not show favorites

Nevermind there was a noticeable difference in the volume of Peter Boyle's applause.

Jack Pallance (one armed pushups)
Mako
Jack Warden
Robert Altman (probably the most applause)

James brown wasn't a part of the parade of dead, he did finish off the strange Michael Mann montage, so I believe that was what they considered a tribute. Six Bud Light talls to be delivered to Duffless for her being right.

12Am Best Actress, or should we say The Helen Mirren show. It was about time a Brit made an acceptance speech...They know how to act!

I kinda liked Calendar Girls, if you haven't seen it, it's about british women who do a nude calendar to raise money for cancer, and end up on The Tonight Show, and at parties with Scott Ian from Anthrax. Helen Mirren shows her boobs...Just sayin!

1205 Best Actor...Let's not be crazy...Peter O'Toole may look like he's dead, but he ain't beating Forrest Whitaker. Who will become the third actor from Fast Times to win an oscar.

And with that, I remember my favorite line from Fast Times:

He's gonna Shit...He's gonna Kill Us!

Well What is it...is he gonna shit, or is he gonna kill us?

First He's gonna Shit...Then He's Gonna Kill Us!

1210, it's Director time...And it's time for Scorcese to finally get the monkey off his back...and he does. It's about time, I mean for god sakes he lost to Kevin Costner and Dances With Wolves when he did Goodfella's. Robbery!

12:20 the go right into best Picture and Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton will give the award away tonight...Keaton usually wears high necks and gloves to cover her skin up, but tonight she's doing neither...wierd. And jack nicholson's sunglasses are only slightly less creepy than Jackie Earle Haley's (by the way if I had to drink every time I saw jack nicholson tonight, I'd be in the hospital with a new liver right now)




Diane Keaton is having a lot of trouble reading off the teleprompter...I don't know if it's because she forgot her glasses or something, but Jack has to pretty much read everything, and that's creepy.

Speaking of that. I work in an office building that is in a Mall...and when I walk through this mall there are ads and posters all through it. And recently there have been ads for some Museum exhibit with close up photos of famous and non famous people...And they chose to show a pic of Jack Nicholson, and it was the first thing I saw one morning in the mall, and let me tell you, it's absolutely frightening to see that much Jack Nicholson.

12:30 Best Picture goes to the departed...I thought Little Miss Sunshine was going to win after the surprise Arkin win and the win for Original Screenplay, but The Departed wins for Adapted Screenplay, Director and Picture, and deservedly so, it was a great movie, and had some terrific dialogue in it. Congrats to all.

One thing, I know the award technically goes to the Producer, but don't you think you could step aside and let Marty speak a little? I mean, it's kinda his award.

That's the end of the show...Ellen, had a few cute moments including asking Marty Scorcese to take a picture of her and Clint Eastwood for her "Myspace Profile"

but in reality, it was pretty tame, and not very funny.

It was also long...Too many damn montages, I'm all about the Montage, but they need to make sense. The Mann Montage could have been lost...Also the Special Effects Singers was about 5 minutes too long.

And let's get the song nominees out of the way in quickfire medley format from now on, we don't need 5 five minute songs over the course of the show...get them all out of the way in one chunk so people can go grab a bite, or a drink, or go to the bathroom or inject themselves with narcotics...whatever.

The Song with Jack Black, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilley was definitely the high point of the night for me, it was well done...and Will's hair was awesome...

Oh yeah, and I forgot what time it happened buy Happy Feet beat Cars for best animated feature...I know even though my nephew was asleep at the time, he was throwing over tables in disgust when that happened. I didn't see either, so I don't know what one was better.

Ok, that's all for the Fuge Oscar Blogtacular...Next year I promise to drink more and be more funny...being sick on big weekends really sucks...