Duffless Foundation Guest Blog Series

While the Foundation is the preeminent Pop Culture Think Tank in the world, sometimes we need some help from the outside. So, we've decided to start the Duffless Foundation Guest Blog Series. The first of this series has been submitted by my buddy Kyle. We look forward to Kyle's post, as well as future entries in the Duffless Foundation Guest Blog Series.

Without any more hullabaloo here we go:
This Labor Day weekend, Dimension Films releases 'Halloween' nationwide,marking yet another unfortunate remake of a cult classic. Actually, the new 'Halloween' movie has been rumoured to not be a straight remake of the original, but rather an updated 're-imaged' version from Rob Zombie who wrote, produced, and directed the new film.

Honestly is Hollywood completely out of ideas that they need to 're-imagine' one of the greatest horror movies of my lifetime?

For those of you not familiar with the film, here's my recap of the 1978 original: Flashback, a young Michael Myers kills his sister, Judith with a kitchen knife. Now present day, we are introduced to Myers' psychiatrist,Dr. Sam Loomis, who's the only person on earth who even has a hunch that Myers is "purely and simply... evil". Myers steals a nurse's car to escape from the mental institute where he's been locked up for 15 years. Myers presumably kills a guy for his full-body mechanic jumpsuit and takes Judith's tombstone. Next, Myers breaks into a hardware store, steals a mask, and spies on some high school chicks. Myers then proceeds to kill a dog, a dude with Ambervision sunglasses, and two high school chicks who either smoked pot, drank beer, had sex, or some combination of the three.Finally, Myers tries to kill a goody-two-shoes babysitter, but his killing spree is interrupted by Dr. Loomis who shoots Myers what appears to be six times in the chest at point blank range. Myers falls from the second story of house to the ground below, and when Loomis checks on him, Myers is gone. The end.

What's to re-imagine?

Alright, maybe Ambervision is a bit dated, fine. And I guess one can point out some minor sequences and abnormalities in the original film that don't necessarily add up. For instance, in the original 'Halloween' I've always wondered how Myers knew how to drive a car during his escape from the mental hospital and later cruise around Haddonfield. And even if Myers did take Judith's tombstone,I'd be willing to bet anyone $500 that he wouldn't be able to lift it himself, including up a flight of stairs for display over Annie Brackett's dead body. But do these things really warrant a re-imagining of the entire film?

The original 'Halloween' predates Mrs. Vorhees, Freddy Kruger, and all the other slasher movies from the 80's. It combines the right mix of a creepy soundtrack, "did I just see that" spooky moments, and surprisingly great acting from the entire cast to catapult itself to be tops on my list of all time great horror films.

However, what stands out the most as making the original 'Halloween' so unique amongst slasher movies, is the absence of blood, guts, and gore. In the original film, Michael Myers suffocates, strangles, even stabs his victims, but throughout the entire movie there is really no trace of blood in any scene. Given Zombie is at the helm of the new film, I have a feeling that blood, guts, and gore will be a big part of his re-imagined version.

I'm really not sure what to expect from the new 'Halloween'. Overall, I'm really not looking forward to it, and I think it's a disgrace that its even being made. But to Zombie's credit, I did enjoy his 'The Devil's Rejects' and 'House of 1,000 Corpses', at least up until the host from MTV's Singled Out was killed off. Plus, Zombie's 'Thunderkiss '65' was the opening theme for the original ECW shows, so I can't completely knock him. Not yet,anyways.

Unlike The Bad News Bears remake a few years back, which I absolutely refuse to see (maybe another time I'll explain that), I will see 'Halloween' and I'm almost certain I will hate it.

Maybe thirty years from now when Dimension Films creates a re-re-imagined' Halloween' based on Zombie's re-imagined 'Halloween', the marketing department will re-imagine the release date to be actually on or around Halloween and not Labor Day.

Maybe?