Segway Abe

Today I was driving home from work and saw a guy on Mass Ave on a Segway, in full Abe Lincoln gear, including beard. On his back it said Segway Abe. Being a menace on the road I managed to snap a photo while driving. It didn't come out so hot but I found a closer up one on google which I put below.

I don't know who this guy is, or what he's doing but it is fantastic!! Despite the never ending winters these are the kind of things that keep me loving Boston. The creative weirdo factor is so high, especially around Somerville and Cambridge. From the Morris Dancers I posted about a few years ago, to the SKUL bicycle "gang" and now Segway Abe - I love it!

Too bad Sarah Vowell isn't for another 2 weeks, I feel like she'd be a person who'd appreciate the awesomeness that is Segway Abe. For some weird reason comedians and quirkly misfits (think Conan O'Brien) love our pal Abe.

I found several sites with people trying to figure out who/what he is. I found his myspace page, which could be the only thing left worth checking out on myspace, for the sheer fact that he's listed as being from Vinyl Sidingsburg , plus his only friends seem to be other Abe Lincoln's. Have I mentioned this is fantastic?

http://www.myspace.com/famousfartzone

I think I just threw up

I love romantic movies. Particularly I like romantic comedies, your average pos crappy romance movies are a wonderful guilty pleasure treat. However, I simply cannot stomach Nicholas Sparks movies. The ladies at work are always going on about crap like The Notebook and how much they love the book and movie. I like some REALLY REALLY bad romance movies but even I have a standard, and Nicolas Sparks is well below my that line.

The last few days I've begun to see commercials for a movie called Nights in Rodanthe. Weird title I know. Anyway, at very first glance it looked like just another Diana Lane middle aged woman finding herself Under the Tuscan Sun type of thing. That was until they revealed a little bit of dialogue that had me almost literally recycle my dinner.

So let me set the scene, based on the limited information in the commercial, Diane Lane is going through a potential divorce. She is also is some sort of innkeeper at some ridiculously nice summer mansion seemingly on the beach. It's off season and Richard Gere is her only guest and he's dealing with some drama of his own. They have some dinner, yadda yadda yadda, and she shows him some wooden box that she's made (yes, I giggle that she showed him her box, I'm a child, but I digress) anyway upon showing him her box she says:

"I made that, it's to keep special things safe."

he replies:

"Who keeps you safe?"

to which I reply:

vomit

REALLY!?! WHO KEEPS YOU SAFE?

are you freaking kidding me, this has to be one of the worst lines in film/literature history.

Pass me a gun.

Do yourself a favor and don't watch this:

Still Better than Dean Koontz

Earlier today I was informed that All Star Sandwich Bar in Inman Square, Cambridge MA serves poutine. Obviously, I left my house in a matter of seconds. I've been meaning to check this place out for ages, it was good and my belly was sated, but little did I know that I was going to be in for the surprise of the year when I found a youngster reading an Ann Coulter book, IN PUBLIC!

All Star Sandwich Bar is one of those hipster friendly places, in hipster friendly Inman Square. Sure, all sorts of people go there, but boutique sandwich shops in the Republic of Cambridge are the least likely place you'd expect to see someone rocking out with conservative pablum.

I was so surprised I had to surreptitiously take a photo, please excuse the upskirtcam-esque quality from my shitty cellphone. I had to make it look like I was taking a picture of my food, which is all very common among the hipster foodie crowd, lest she think me some sort of weirdo.

I spent time while enjoying my lunch trying to figure out the state of today's youth. Why would someone be reading anything coming out of Anne Coulter's brain, let alone in public? If I had tried that shit at Umass when I was her age they'd have taken my bongs and frisbees away! This young women didn't seem to be the"fuck you world I do what I want" type and I think she's a bit too young to have been overly influenced by Alex P. Keaton, but there she was - sitting there, eating her lunch, doing her thing. I guess I am glad to see people thinking freely and doing what they want, but aside from hurting my soul, seeing someone reading this kind of material in Cambridge is tantamount to wearing a Yankee's hat in Southie.

I think there are a few possible explanations:

1. She actually likes Anne Coulter - sad really, but possible I suppose
2. She's working up the courage to kill herself, and isn't a tasty sandwich a nice last meal?
3. Some sort of leftist experiment
4. She's an idiot savant and this is the last book left in recorded history she's yet to read
5. Some sort of sandwich related dare
6. She is desperately lonely and hoping that the opposites attract thing might really work - if so, sign me up!
7. Catering didn't show up at the the Hitler Youth meeting
8. She's Gov. Palin's knocked up daughter (eating for two obviously) hiding out from the media in liberal town (Republic of Cambridge)

If you have any other possible explanations as to how this could have happened, or insights into today's youth, I'd love to hear them.