Still Better than Dean Koontz

Earlier today I was informed that All Star Sandwich Bar in Inman Square, Cambridge MA serves poutine. Obviously, I left my house in a matter of seconds. I've been meaning to check this place out for ages, it was good and my belly was sated, but little did I know that I was going to be in for the surprise of the year when I found a youngster reading an Ann Coulter book, IN PUBLIC!

All Star Sandwich Bar is one of those hipster friendly places, in hipster friendly Inman Square. Sure, all sorts of people go there, but boutique sandwich shops in the Republic of Cambridge are the least likely place you'd expect to see someone rocking out with conservative pablum.

I was so surprised I had to surreptitiously take a photo, please excuse the upskirtcam-esque quality from my shitty cellphone. I had to make it look like I was taking a picture of my food, which is all very common among the hipster foodie crowd, lest she think me some sort of weirdo.

I spent time while enjoying my lunch trying to figure out the state of today's youth. Why would someone be reading anything coming out of Anne Coulter's brain, let alone in public? If I had tried that shit at Umass when I was her age they'd have taken my bongs and frisbees away! This young women didn't seem to be the"fuck you world I do what I want" type and I think she's a bit too young to have been overly influenced by Alex P. Keaton, but there she was - sitting there, eating her lunch, doing her thing. I guess I am glad to see people thinking freely and doing what they want, but aside from hurting my soul, seeing someone reading this kind of material in Cambridge is tantamount to wearing a Yankee's hat in Southie.

I think there are a few possible explanations:

1. She actually likes Anne Coulter - sad really, but possible I suppose
2. She's working up the courage to kill herself, and isn't a tasty sandwich a nice last meal?
3. Some sort of leftist experiment
4. She's an idiot savant and this is the last book left in recorded history she's yet to read
5. Some sort of sandwich related dare
6. She is desperately lonely and hoping that the opposites attract thing might really work - if so, sign me up!
7. Catering didn't show up at the the Hitler Youth meeting
8. She's Gov. Palin's knocked up daughter (eating for two obviously) hiding out from the media in liberal town (Republic of Cambridge)

If you have any other possible explanations as to how this could have happened, or insights into today's youth, I'd love to hear them.