Oscars Preview

Two things I can tell you for sure, Dame Helen Mirren will win for her role in the Queen, and I will be drunk on the night of February 25th.

I love the Oscars for so many reasons...Not just because of the movies, but I love to see so many things that can only happen when Hollywood's biggest stars get together in the same place.

I love it when Actresses wear revealing dresses and the rumors that they weren't wearing underwear start to surface.

I love it when nominees have to put on the good face when they didn't win the oscar.

I love it when some nobody who wins an oscar for Best Documentary Short program takes too long on his speech, and the orchestra cues up and starts playing.

I love it when someone make a political comment, and the crowd doesn't expect it, so they don't know whether to clap or not.

I love it when they make jokes about whatever happened the past year that are somewhat awkward, and then they show the person who was joked about and they are making a fake laugh, but inside they are plotting the death of Bruce Villanch who wrote the joke...Mel Gibson should fit this role quite well this year.

I even love it when they do the Nominations for the Best Costumes, and they show all the hand drawn story boards with all the costume ideas on them.

And I REALLY LOVE the Parade of dead stars. They should really have an applause o meter in the bottom right hand of the screen, with just a respectful applause registering as "No one knows who this is" to the standing ovation: "This Person Had either a lot of pull, or made a lot of people some money"

That being said, I guess it's time for my predictions...projections and hopes and dreams for this years Oscar Ceremony.

First things first, I'd like to consider the Duffless Foundation the online home for the Jackie Earle Haley for Best Supporting Actor Committee. Like I said, I haven't seen this movie yet...but I'm working on it. But I think I would give 100 dollars just to see his acceptance speech...I mean this guy hasn't made a decent movie since 1983's Losing It! And the 10 second long clip of his they showed on the SAG awards last night was uber creepy, and to me worthy of upsetting Eddie Murphy for the award. This guy was a Pizza Delivery guy in San Antonio in between his last tv movie and 2006 where the director for the Movie All The King's Men remembered his work in the 70's and decided he'd be good for a role he had in mind. And now, he's on the red carpet ready to see if he wins an oscar. Even if he doesn't win, he already has, he's brought legitimacy to a career...One that really didn't need any (if you've seen Breaking Away), but legitimacy nonetheless.

Second, I'd like to say that the Best Supporting Actor category is my favorite so far. I mean, Alan Arkin in Little Miss Sunshine was freakin' Hilarious...Marky Mark in the Departed, was the best role in the whole damn film, which was full of them. I'm sure Marky's friends from back in the day will be sending him Good Vibrations from Boston. And of course Jackie Earle Haley is also nominated. My fingers will be crossed for him, but I think Eddie Murphy will probably win for his role in Dreamgirls. I have nothing much to say about this, other than the fact that if the star of NORBIT wins an Oscar, I think I'm going to puke. Oh yeah, Djimon Honsou was nominated as well. This guy knows how to pick a role...it seems like he's nominated for almost everything he does! I hear Blood Diamond just wasn't that good of a movie though, so he won't win...but Dreamgirls wasn't good either I hear...so:


Prediction: Winner...Marky Mark sans Funky Bunch
Who I hope wins: Jackie Earle Haley
I would be happy if anyone but Eddie Murphy wins.

Best Supporting Actress...

I've seen only one of these movies, Little Miss Sunshine. So I will go purely based on gut. Saying that, I'm kind of torn. Rinko Kikuchi from Babel is pretty hot. Jennifer Hudson Shares my last name. Abigail Breslin was awesome...but I'm still pissed that Christian Bale wasn't nominated for Empire of the Sun when he was a kid so I won't vote for any kid actors until his awesomeness in that movie is recognized. Adrianna Barazza is in the same movie as Rinko Kikuchi but is not hot. and finally Cate Blanchette won last year for the Aviator, so she isn't winning this year.

Prediction: Winner Jennifer Hudson (have to go with my family)

Best Actor...

This category appears to be locked up for Forrest Whitaker...which is fine by me. He's been in several of my favorite movies of all time. From his early workin Fast Times At Ridgemont High, to his work in VietNam era movies Platoon and Good Morning VietNam, I've always liked him. I haven't seen this movie, but it seems like an unstoppable force. For this reason, I won't even bother going into the other actors...except to say that Peter O'Toole was nominated for Venus, and after seeing him on the interview circuit, I'm not sure he's going to make it until the awards presentation, this guy is old, and crazy, and he wears scarves to cover up his old man neck. Leo was nominated for Blood Diamond, Ryan Gosling (I love those cupcakes like Mcadams loves Gosling) was nominated for Half Nelson, which I don't think is about wrestling...sadly. And finally Will Smith was nominated for Pursuit of Happyness.

Prediction...Whitaker in a landslide

Best Actress...

To mirror what my prestigious costar Duffless writes, Dame Judy Dench and Dame Helen Mirren definitely go over the old british lady limit in this category, but Mirren is winning this without a doubt for her work in The Queen. I really liked her in Calendar Girls, which I'm not really comfortable admitting, but I did.

The other nominees are Meryl Streepin Devil Wears Prada, Penelope Cruz in Volver, Judy Dench in Notes on a Scandal and Kate Winslet in Little Children. On a side note, Kate was responsible for getting Jackie Earle Haley the part in this movie, so she gets an extra thumbs up from me!

Prediction...Mirren in a bigger landslide than Whitaker.

Best Director...

Okay this appears to be a two horse race, with longtime nominee Martin Scorcese playing the Susan Lucci role (6 nominations no awards) and Clint Eastwood looking to take home his 3rd oscar for directing...after Million Dollar Baby and The Unforgiven. He was also nominated for directing Mystic River.

Scorcese has actually lost like 3 times to actors turned directors in this category...with Kevin Costner winning for Dances with Wolves (shocking in retrospect) over Goodfellas...Robert Redford for Ordinary People knocking out Raging Bull...and Clint Eastwood himself for Million Dollar Baby knocking off The Aviator.

The thing is, I hear a lot of Scorcese's Departed and Eastwood's Letters From Iwo Jima may cancel themselves out leaving Babel's Mexican guy to win. I don't think this is going to happen, I think The Departed will pull this one out, and Scorcese will finally get his due. I mean, the guy has only made some of the most memorable movies of all time and has never won anything...this is his time.

Prediction....Scorcese.

Best Picture
The nominees are The Departed, Babel, Little Miss Sunshine, Letters From Iwo Jima, and The Queen. Again, this seems to be a case where The Departed and Letters From Iwo Jima could cancel eachother out allowing Babel to win especially after Babel's win in the Golden Globes. That being said, I don't think it happens here...I think Scorcese will win again with the based in Boston Drama The Departed.

I kinda wish the Oscars would adopt the Golden Globes system of having a Drama and a Comedy category, cause I really kinda think that Sascha Baron Cohen and Borat should have been nominated for the best picture, but there's no way that The Academy would nominate two different comedies...even though Little Miss Sunshine was pretty damned depressing.

Anyway, Prediction...The Departed

I won't bore you with all the little awards...because unlike previous years there's nothing that fun to report...There's no Billy Zabka getting nominated for best Short, or Hoop Dreams not getting nominated for best Documentary.

So I'll go through some of them very quick.

Best Foreign Language-Volver
Best Documentary-An inconvenient truth (biggest layup outside Helen Mirren)
Best Animated- Cars, for my nephew.
Best Adapted Screenplay- The Departed (I almost put Borat, but I didn't have the balls)
Best Original Screenplay- Little Miss Sunshine, I'm calling the upset!
Best Song- Prince, because seeing him was the best 10 dollars I've ever spent.

Allright, I guess that's enough...

One thing I will promise, I will be there February 25th, fresh off a road trip to sunny Toronto Ontario Canada, drinking my canned american beers, and bringing you the most entertaining recap of the oscars this side of Fox News.

Oh while I'm at it, I'm going to say that this time there is no way that I outdrink Jack Nicholson appearances. I'm not saying that I don't polish off more than a twelve pack, but with The Departed being nominated, I have a feeling that I won't be even close to being able to keep up with him...I promise I'll try.

Also, I think the five nominees for top applause in the parade of dead have to be:
Robert Altman
Red Buttons
Peter Boyle
Don Knotts
Shelly Winters


Robert Altman takes the cake, with Peter Boyle getting a surprise second.

This Foundation Member will also be remembering the deaths of Bruno Kirby, Chris Penn and Mr. Vernon/Deputy Chief Dwayne T. Robinson (Paul Gleason) with a tip of the old beer can towards the heaven...And a special Parade of Dead Salute will go to James Brown. I really can't wait to see how many times I say to myself: Holy Shit...He/She Died?

Ok, that's enough, I'm done with this...

I'll be back beforehand, but this is it for Oscar talk until the 25th.