Monday, December 11, 2006

My attempt at being Kobayashi


Last Wednesday night, I decided to throw my hat into the ring of competitive eating.

I'd long thought I had quite the stomach, and figured, if they can do it...So can I. In the past I'd had my picture taken at various restaurants where if you eat the big burger you get your picture on the wall. But now, I wanted more...I wanted a title. I wanted to be the Spikes' Hot Dogs "TOP DOG". I chose the venue...Davis Square. I didn't choose Davis because the record is 2 hot dogs less than the Allston Location...I chose it because I wanted to come over to the other side of the river and take away one of it's accolades...To plant the Allston-Brighton flag into Somerville's home turf.

The record for the Davis location is 12 dogs. You may think this seems like a small amount, but for those of you who aren't familiar with a Spikes Dog, the are quite large, and the bun isn't so much a bun as a large piece of French Bread. I did some research, and tried my best to prepare. I'd often chug gallons of water with dinner, to try to stretch my stomach, I came up with a plan of attack, and decided that last Wednesday was the night of nights.

I showed up at the location with my trusty Nano in hand...loose fitting pants around my waist and a hunger from eating only a light breakfast during the day. I spoke to the man at the counter, and said I was going to try to best the record...he told me the rules (1.5 hours, all hot dogs and buns must be eaten, no bathroom breaks or trips out of the store, and no puking) and before he started me off, he let me know that the owner of the current record was sitting directly to my left.

A woman, smallish in stature probably around 100 pounds. She turns to me and says "if you beat my record, I'll just come back and beat you tomorrow". I admit, I was intimidated. I rip through the first 6 hot dogs at a blistering pace, my plan...eat 10 hot dogs in 30 minutes, then coast to the last 3 to set the record...if I have time I'll eat one or two more to make my record a little bit harder to break.

I think I had her worried through six hot dogs...which I think I ate in 10 minutes.

At dog seven, she knew she was going to be keeping the record and left. I hadn't hit the wall, but I was having trouble eating the dogs, requiring a lot more liquid. I got through 2 more dogs, and wanted to call it quits. But Realized if I ate one more, I'd have eaten the second most hot dogs in the history of that particular location (tied really, one other had eaten 9). I knew 10 wasn't a possibility. I choked down the last dog, now full to the nth degree. Her record was safe, and even more, she had my respect. Even though I still had about 45 minutes to go in the contest, I knew it was over, the taste of hot dog was becoming vile to me, I couldn't swallow any more without taking a swig of pepsi (like swallowing a pill), So I told the man that I was all done. He got me my trophy, a Spikes visor (they didn't have my tshirt size)...Took my picture, banished the one time holder of second place to the next row, and congratulated me.

I left knowing that I could have prepared more, and I probably could get over the 10 dog mark, if I wanted to try again...but really, what do I have to prove. I know I did my best, and know that I gave it a good run.

I thank my friends that were there to support me, and I wish that I could have done better for them. But alas, I did not, but they had a good time.

I think it will be quite a long time before I eat hot dogs again and enjoy them, but I'll be back, and this time it will be fore my enjoyment, not to try to win some tshirt and get my picture on the wall.

Kobayashi...Girl at Spikes...you are the true heroes of the eating world, I am but your servant.



7 comments:

MDG said...

I think you could take that chick based on speed. 6 in 10 minutes was very impressive. I enjoyed myself immensely.

Dan Nolan said...

Impressive. Very impressive. But why didn't you stick around until the end to see if you get a second wind (or, more appropriately, a case of the winds which may have cleared some space for you)? Nevermind. Don't answer that. I'm not in your class and therefore have no right to question. You're officially invited to the annual Hot Dog Ho Down next July 4th at my place. It's not so much a contest as it is a hot dog appreciation event coinciding with a live viewing of the Nathan's contest. But you're welcome to chow down Solomon style if so desired.

I assume you've done the Godzilla Burger at the Eagle Deli. Did you ever go for the Cowabunga or Mega burgers there? I was lucky to get the Godzilla down. My stomach is weak.

fuge said...

I've eaten teh Godzilla (which is the minimum to get on the wall I believe) I'd like to do the next step up.

My friend actually tried to set a record there, and failed pretty miserably.

I thought about waiting it out, but it would have been pointless, over an hour later, I could barely sit and drink a beer because I was so uncomfortable.

Dan Nolan said...

I did it back in 94 or 95 and there were only like 2 or 3 BC offensive line looking mu'fuckas who had successfully eaten the cowabunga burger. There were a smattering of X'ed out photos of the failures. That was my favorite part about that place: your picture went up either way and if you didn't finish your burger and fries you got a big X across your face. For the uninitiated:

Godzilla = 1 lb of beef, 8 slices of cheese, lettuce, tomato, and 1 lb of fries.

Mega = above but 1.5 and 1.5 pounds.

Cowabunga = above but 2 pounds and a trough of fries.

Dan Nolan said...

whoa whoa whoa. I just looked at the picture and it has regular dog eaters on the same board as veggie dog eaters. Is that even fair? Veggie dogs are much lighter than regular dogs. Are they just doing that to ingratiate themselves with the Davis veggie crowd? Do they allow veggie eaters on the board at the Allston or Providence locations? I think if you order a veggie dog at the Providence location, Peter Manfredo Jr punches you in the face before they take your picture.

fuge said...

Veggie dogs are on the board in Allston as well.

It's a seperate category...

But they are given top dog stature if they eat the most.

shayne said...

i saw your picture on the wall at spikes. very nice!