The Greatest Little League Baseball Player Ever!

Then


Now

Jackie Earle Haley...better known as Kelly Leak from the Bad News Bears films, may be known for another reason come this spring. Turns out Jackie Earle has returned to acting, and had a supporting role in the movie Little Children. I've yet to see the movie, but apparently it is a set in boston movie about the lives of married couples and their children...If I'm not mistaken Jackie plays a pedophile, but I could be wrong.

Well it turns out that Jackie's role won the New York Film Critics Award for Best Supporting Actor. And now they are talking Oscar!!!! I've never been this excited since I saw that Johnny Lawrence/Chaz Osbourne himself Billy Zabka was nominated in the best short film category a few years ago!

The movie is written and directed by the same guy who did the movie In The Bedroom, and stars Kate Winslet and Jennifer Connelly...and their breasts.

I've missed Jackie Earle. He made two of my favorite movies of all time...Bad News Bears and Breaking Away. And that's pretty much it, but he's always garnered much respect from me. Now all I can say is congratulations! And Good Luck Jackie Earle, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors...and if I had a vote come this spring...you'd be it!

My attempt at being Kobayashi

Last Wednesday night, I decided to throw my hat into the ring of competitive eating.

I'd long thought I had quite the stomach, and figured, if they can do it...So can I. In the past I'd had my picture taken at various restaurants where if you eat the big burger you get your picture on the wall. But now, I wanted more...I wanted a title. I wanted to be the Spikes' Hot Dogs "TOP DOG". I chose the venue...Davis Square. I didn't choose Davis because the record is 2 hot dogs less than the Allston Location...I chose it because I wanted to come over to the other side of the river and take away one of it's accolades...To plant the Allston-Brighton flag into Somerville's home turf.

The record for the Davis location is 12 dogs. You may think this seems like a small amount, but for those of you who aren't familiar with a Spikes Dog, the are quite large, and the bun isn't so much a bun as a large piece of French Bread. I did some research, and tried my best to prepare. I'd often chug gallons of water with dinner, to try to stretch my stomach, I came up with a plan of attack, and decided that last Wednesday was the night of nights.

I showed up at the location with my trusty Nano in hand...loose fitting pants around my waist and a hunger from eating only a light breakfast during the day. I spoke to the man at the counter, and said I was going to try to best the record...he told me the rules (1.5 hours, all hot dogs and buns must be eaten, no bathroom breaks or trips out of the store, and no puking) and before he started me off, he let me know that the owner of the current record was sitting directly to my left.

A woman, smallish in stature probably around 100 pounds. She turns to me and says "if you beat my record, I'll just come back and beat you tomorrow". I admit, I was intimidated. I rip through the first 6 hot dogs at a blistering pace, my plan...eat 10 hot dogs in 30 minutes, then coast to the last 3 to set the record...if I have time I'll eat one or two more to make my record a little bit harder to break.

I think I had her worried through six hot dogs...which I think I ate in 10 minutes.

At dog seven, she knew she was going to be keeping the record and left. I hadn't hit the wall, but I was having trouble eating the dogs, requiring a lot more liquid. I got through 2 more dogs, and wanted to call it quits. But Realized if I ate one more, I'd have eaten the second most hot dogs in the history of that particular location (tied really, one other had eaten 9). I knew 10 wasn't a possibility. I choked down the last dog, now full to the nth degree. Her record was safe, and even more, she had my respect. Even though I still had about 45 minutes to go in the contest, I knew it was over, the taste of hot dog was becoming vile to me, I couldn't swallow any more without taking a swig of pepsi (like swallowing a pill), So I told the man that I was all done. He got me my trophy, a Spikes visor (they didn't have my tshirt size)...Took my picture, banished the one time holder of second place to the next row, and congratulated me.

I left knowing that I could have prepared more, and I probably could get over the 10 dog mark, if I wanted to try again...but really, what do I have to prove. I know I did my best, and know that I gave it a good run.

I thank my friends that were there to support me, and I wish that I could have done better for them. But alas, I did not, but they had a good time.

I think it will be quite a long time before I eat hot dogs again and enjoy them, but I'll be back, and this time it will be fore my enjoyment, not to try to win some tshirt and get my picture on the wall.

Kobayashi...Girl at Spikes...you are the true heroes of the eating world, I am but your servant.

Fall F'n Finale!!!

Ok NBC cut the shit...Let's stop calling the winter Hiatus anything other than what it is...a time to take a break for the holidays and make some space for some holiday specials and reruns.

Let's stop this fuckin Fall Finale Insanity. You've already practically ruined my life chaining me to my tv for almost 3 nights a week...if you add Sunday Night Football and Friday Night Lights together. Now you need to try to fool me into thinking that this Fall Finale is anything other than the last new show that will be on for a while? I'm too smart for you NBC. I know what you're up to...You're hoping IDENTITY will be this years Deal or No Deal. Something that next year you'll be able to fill 3 hours of programming per week with...since sooner or later people will tire of the worlds most famous Obssessive Compulsive Howie Mandel. I understand this...really I do...and to tell you the truth I could use the break...but don't try to fool me that this is something than it really is! A Break!

And more importantly...Please don't use this opportunity to sell two sets of dvd's for a whole season!

Don't make me buy Season 1a and 1b of Heroes! I'll fuckin download that shit illegally so fast and hand it out like jesus flyers outside of a red sox game...I swear to god.

Thank god Monday Night Football doesn't have a "Fall Finale" at least I'll have something to watch on Monday nights.