Sometimes you just know someone's a dick.

See this guy? This guy is a dick.

Is it the bad eye make up?

The shit ass tattoo?

The lack of shirt?

The bizarre hair?

His smug fucking face?

I dunno, but he sucks hard. If the overall shittyness of this song weren't enough to make me want to jab knitting needles in my ears, (apparently Boost's raison d’ être is tormenting me while I watch CSI on Spike - off topic, there is not one person CSI I don't' want to have a beer with and sex up, anyway), this weird ass white dude seals the deal. Look at him, he's a dick!

The first two people in the commercial are rappers, one I think I've even heard of before Jermain Dupree, granted I'm not much of a rap/hip hop fan, and the stuff I like is pretty old, but this commercial is just weak. Particularly annoying is the use of the word "Tippy", a grown man should not be using, and/or making up that word. Tippy sounds too much like Sippy, do you see Snoop drinking out of a sippy cup, hell no, he's got a goddamned golden chalice!!

So, after the first two guys extol the virtues of Boost Mobile, then out comes the ass clown above. Apparently, this guy is some sort of quasi famous rap/rock crossover dude. I looked him up, I know his name, I now even know a bit about his career, and while this blog is supposed to expand your mind with all things pop culture, F this guy. I'm not giving you his name, it's bad enough I'm even giving him this much attention, but damn that commercial and that guy annoy the ever living crap out of me. Everyone who worked on this should be sterilized, okay okay, some people were just doing their job. Where you at?

Watch the commercial if you must, you've been warned.

RIP Jeff Healey

The Foundation would like to honor an actor from one of the greatest movies of all time at an early age.

Jeff Healey, blind musician and actor, died after a long battle with Cancer at age 41. What most people will remember Jeff from is his role as the house musician at the Double Deuce in the movie Road House.

His biggest line, after a fight in which Patrick Swayze defeated nearly the entire bar was...The Name...is Daulton.

The Foundation will miss you Jeff, and thank you for your part in what can best be considered a gift to humanity...Road House.


By the way, look at that hair!

Oscar Blog coming this week.

I'm Fucking Ben Affleck

It was inevitable Jimmy Kimmel would enact revenge. While this clip is not as laugh out loud funny as IFMD, it is over the top with the range of cameo's, from Brad Pitt to Huey Lewis - - please watch for yourself, and is still very amusing - I personally love the pooka shells.

Oscar Drinking Game

Not to bump Fuge's Post - but this may be useful to your Oscar Viewing this weekend.

The Foundation Oscar Drinking Game

Drink Once if…..

• Someone thanks God.
• Someone cries
• Someone mentions Heath Ledger
• Someone gets played off by the orchestra
• The parade of death shows someone you thought was alive

Drink Twice if…..

• A winner goes on a political tirade
• They pan to someone you thought was dead
• You see the Denzel Washington Rule (this happens when the camera awkwardly points out other famous African American, Asian, Homosexual etc audience members when an award is being given) They also like to focus on any ex girlfriends/boyfriends in the audience - always classy
  

Social if…..

• You see Jack Nicholson
• Wardrobe malfunction
• Someone trips
• A winner/nominee is in the bathroom
• Someone thanks Satan

Pre Oscar Blatherings

Ok, a bunch of things I wanted to talk about...

First, and this was brought to my attention by the almighty Duffless, How I Met Your Mother has not been formally resigned for next season yet. There are apparently a bunch of episodes that will air after St. Patricks day, but next year, the slot hasn't been given to them yet. Let me say this CBS...Don't be dumb, sign them up. As I've talked about before, there are only a few sitcoms left, don't lose one of the best. Also, in cancellation news...Friday Night Lights has been rumored to be possibly shifting to another network. Please let this happen. Move to ABC Family or something so I can keep on watching you, even though it seems Tim Riggins has signed on to some movie roles, so he may not be there if they do change networks, so we'll see if it's worth it.

Secondly, Apparently NBC is going to ditch the Season schedule that has been put into the tv business for many years now. I applaud this, Why do you need to have shows air in the fall, and end in spring, and have nothing in the summer...Rotate that bitch up a bit. So I don't get stuck watching nothing in the summer months. This is definitely a good thing to come out of the writer's strike.

Thirdly, I've seen 3 of the 5 best picture nominees. I plan on seeing michael clayton this weekend, so that will be 4 of 5. I hope. And I will say this...No Country For Old Men despite the lack of closure, is my favorite to win the Oscar...I'd almost pick Juno next, then There Will Be Blood. While I think that Daniel Day Lewis was spectacular, I'm not sure I think the movie was spectacular.

Fourthly, I will be making my debut on the west coast in a few weeks time. I will be in LA, so I look forward to any suggestions as to where I should eat/drink/be merry while I'm there. I look forward to Pinks and my first ever In and Out Burger, but look for more suggestions. I will also be going to Vegas in an attempt to start my career as a professional gambler.

Finally, I will be doing the Oscar Blog again this year, I look forward to the Duffless Foundation viewing party/drinking game/gambling extravaganza, I think I'm coming up with a new system this year for my oscar picks.

Oh, and another thing...There is a list of the top 100 Oscar snubs on Entertainment Weekly's Website right now It's only actors, and I think they justified it as people who didn't get nominated. It's been a while since I've done a list, but Here's my top 3 oscar snubs of all time:

Christian Bale (Empire of the Sun). I like this movie way more than most people, but it absolutely kills me that Christian Bale wasn't nominated for this movie, I know he was only like 11 years old or whatever, but there is no way there were 5 better roles that year than his. Upon Review here was the oscar class for Best Actor in 1988:

Winner Michael Douglas for Wall Street
Other Nominees:
William Hurt Broadcast News
Robin Williams Good Morning Vietnam
Marcello Mastroianni Oci Ciornie
Jack Nicholson Ironweed.

Ok, Big class, I'll admit, but I gotta say he was better than William Hurt, Marcello Mastroianni and Jack Nicholson. Because I never heard of Oci Ciornie, I completely forget Ironweed, and Broadcast News wasn't that good.

Goodfellas. Tell me, what movie do you remember from 1991, Goodfellas, or Dances With Wolves? Tell me which one you'd be more likely to watch again. I mean, a coked up Ray Liotta seeing helicopters deserves an oscar just on it's own.

Finally, Natalie Portman in The Professional. I mean, the only thing that could keep her from being nominated for this movie is the fact that the Academy have no balls, and were afraid that the sexual tension between a preteen Natalie, and Jean Reno would be too controversial...But I still find it hard to believe how well she played that role at such a young age.

Ok, that's all for now...Expect the Oscar blog next week.

Happy Valentines Day

In Honor of Valentines Day I’d like to salute some perfect, yet non traditionally attractive couples. These are people who the stork might have dropped through a forest of ugly trees, but somehow managed to find their mate. These couples are so perfectly matched, I almost believe there is a God. Almost.

I present, Couple Number 1, is there even a need to explain how perfect these two are?

1. Rhea Pearlman & Danny Devito

Couple 2 - Allyce"Ms. Depesto" Beasley & Vincent"I'm creepy but awesome in everything" Schiavelli - sadly this couple divorced and i'm sure their reunion was only prevented by his untimely death. She was nerdy fun on Moonlighting, he was awesome from everything from Fast Times to Better off Dead.

and now onto Couple 3 -
Sarah Gilbert and Johnny Gileki- they have played couples several times starting out on Rosenne, they seem like such a good pairing a younger Danny Devito/Rhea Pearlman combo if you will - however it is not to be, as at least one if not both of them are gay. Don't get me wrong, the Foundation is staunchly pro gay rights and marriage - but these two...damn, these two would be an ugly couple for the ages!

Happy Valentines Day -
I hope someone chooo chooo chooses you and you find your better, and equally ugly half!

RIP Blue Thunder

Sometime between the time I went to bed last night and woke up this morning, I got a text from a friend that said...RIP Blue Thunder. Now, in my blurriness, I thought at first...Jan Michael Vincent died? Then I remembered, he was on Airwolf, so who was in Blue Thunder....OH NO ROY!!!!!!!

A little backstory. Back at the U, I went with a friend of mine from the dorm to another dorm to hang out with his friends from home. When I got there, I got into a room with several people maybe 6, drinking busch lights (or something similar), ordering delivery, and watching Blue Thunder on Umass Cable Access (a truly underrated time of my life, the Umass movie channel would show a mix of old movies, suprisingly new releases, foreign films, and hour long public service announcements about the dangers of binge drinking and riding on the top of elevators). The six or so guys barely noticed I was there, but offered me a beer, and a seat, and I sat there transfixed on the wonder that was Blue Thunder, cheering out the movies hero...Roy Schieder with well placed...Fuck Yeah Roy!'s and the like. Needless to say several of those people are still many of my best friends.

So I'd like to say goodbye to one Roy Scheider. He'll never know, but he's part of a very good memory for me. I look forward to seeing you in the Oscar's Parade of Death.

Late to the Party...Juno Edition

So, I'm making my annual attempt to see all the movies that were nominated for Best Picture...and other major Oscar awards before the show, so I know what the hell is going on...last week, I saw No Country For Old Men. Hand Javier Bardem the Oscar now Friend-O. This week, I saw Juno...Now I was warned by Ms. Duffless that I may want to shoot myself in the head if I hear the soundtrack, but being strongly anti gun, I didn't think that would be a problem. I went to the local theater, and sat down for the show. First things first...I'm not going to go into the movie too much, but I just wanted to say, that while the lead Actress Ellen Page was good, I thought it seemed too much like she was talking like a 30 year old woman was writing her lines for her. Which I guess, in reality she was.
What I really wanted to talk about though is JK Simmons. I have decided to name a new wing to the That Guy Hall of Fame. Now, JK Simmons isn't really someone I'd consider a That Guy...although maybe he is. I mean, he sorta is a That Guy, but he's probably not Hall of Fame worthy. I mean, he's No Taylor Negron. What he is though, is someone that will always be known by a particular role. For instance, Robert Carradine will always be known as Louis Skolnick from Revenge of the Nerds, and come to think of it, Larry B. Scott will always be Lamar Latrell, Curtis Armstrong will always be Booger, and Donald Gibb will always be Ogre! Pat Morita will always be known as Miyagi. And Keith David will always be the Ass to Ass guy from Requiem for a Dream.

JK Simmons will alway be Schillinger from Oz to me. Yes, everyone's favorite white supremacist sexual sadist Vern Schillinger from Oswald Penitentiary in New York. For those who don't know him feel free to familiarize yourself with his Wiki page...of course if you want to watch all the seasons on dvd, perhaps you shouldn't read all the season synopsis.

No matter how many times I see this guy as Spiderman's newspaper editor, as a psychologist on Law and Order (the link between Oz and Law and Order deserves its own blog) or as a cuddly, supportive dad to a pregnant teenaged girl, I'll always remember this guy as the guy who branded a swastika on another mans ass...it's just impossible not to! I feel for JK, I mean, he's a successful working actor that has worked on many successful shows, and some of the biggest movies of the last couple of decades, but to many people he'll always be the guy who was shat upon in the prison gym. For this, JK you are going to be the first Inductee to the Ogre U. Asshole wing of the That Guy Hall of Fame.

Remember, some people may have different opinions of who JK is to them but to me, hell always be big Schill. Congratulations JK, on being the first official inductee!

Tom and Chuck Win It All!

Out of respect to many people I’m keeping this post sports free, however out of disrespect to certain members of Contempt for the World, I’m not keeping this post Tom Petty free.

Had certain members of CFTW (alex) not taunted me by texting Tom Petty (that’s alliteration bitches) hate mail during halftime, perhaps I wouldn’t feel the need to point out Alex’s obvious shortcomings.

I still strongly believe that Alex actually likes Tom Petty – I know he’s much different than Fall Out Boy or whatever emo bullshit Alex is into these days, but my knowledge that Alex CAN actually like good music (see Billy Bragg) makes me feel that he will one day be able to confidently admit that Tom Petty is indeed awesome. Please refer back to my Unified Petty Theory from Feb 2007.

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers rocked the house and were an excellent choice for half time. I can’t wait to see him this summer and I stand by my belief that Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers are the greatest thing to ever come out of Florida. So FU Alex!

My only other comment is regarding the Superbowl commercials – people are saying these are the funniest ones in years. I didn’t see any commercials that I thought were particularly amusing, barring one. The Coke commercial with Charlie Brown was PHENOMENAL! This commercial worked on every level. It was already funny to see the Stewie blimp fight it out with Underdog, but the second we saw the head of Charlie Brown emerge from behind the building the room went wild. So despite how I might feel about the two teams that played last night, Charlie Brown finally won and all is right in the world!

I'm Fucking Matt Damon!

I have to give mad props to my friend Jill for posting this video on gchat. She of course linked it from Perez Hilton, but F that guy - so I'm linking it from you tube.

Apparently Sarah Silverman just created this video for Jimmy Kimmel's 5th anniversary show. If you didn't know she's been dating him for a few years now. I can't believe that he's had a show for 5 years. I have a love hate relationship with Sarah Silverman, but this is the bee's knees. What I love best is that she got Matt Damon to be in it.

I don't think people realize that he's a funny guy. I'd like to cite the following examples:
1. Spoofing himself in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
2. His completely weird and unexpected yet totally hysterical cameo in Euro Trip: Scotty Doesn't Know
3. His work on SNL, especially as Young Hannibal Lecter (which I can never find online, if you have a link hook me up!!)
4. The fact that for years during interviews he'd sneak in lines in from the song Afternoon Delight without the interviewer noticing.
5. Stuck on You - oh, no wait, that sucked

Anyway, this is the funniest thing I've seen in a while - the only thing that could possibly make this funnier is if she were really fucking Matt Damon - I wish I was.

Random Pop Culture Musings

Louis CK is coming to Boston in a few months and friends have somehow managed to get a posse of folks to head out to see him. Granted he’s no Dane Cook, but it should be more fun than a “bag of dicks”. Our friend KMoore may just die from giggling if he uses that phrase, he simply can’t handle it. If you haven’t seen Louis CK’s special Shameless, you need to educate yourself post haste!

The Goon has recently informed me of a new disgusting pop culture/dirty slang phrase: “The Spocker”. Apparently, the Spocker is like the Shocker, but Spockier, and involves making the Spock gang gesture. This could be the weirdest slash funniest slash grossest term I’ve learned since the great Fuge Upper Decking conversation of 2007.

According to the Goon, (who really earns his name with this new discovery), instead of “two in the pink one in the stink”, the Spocker’s catch phrase is “Live long and finger”. Goon, you’ve really raised the bar on this one.

A pop culture confession, I spent 30 min the other day trying to find a good picture of “Burt” from Valerie/The Hogan Family because I noticed that the guy who plays the manager type in all the Stride Gum commercials was the same dude. While I thought I was the only loser to notice this, the Goon recently confirmed he recognized him as well. Burt was a nerd friends with Jason"It's Your Move" Bateman, unlike Bateman’s other friend, I think his name was Rick, who was a badddd apple, so bad in fact bad he got both a DUI on show and died of Aids. Ouch.

Speaking of sitcom sidekicks, I was never a big Hogan Family fan, but all this thinking of Burt made me think of Boner from Growing Pains. How funny was it when you learned his dad’s name was Sylvester Stabone? I’m still laughing. Speaking of Boner, I love when I learn that random barely famous people are related to other random kinda famous people.

Like, did you know that Boner’s dad was Checkov on Star Trek. I seem to collect random information like this, such as did you know the girl who played the blonde chick who dated Cousin Larry Appleton on Perfect Strangers was the daughter of Mr. Whipple the toilet paper commercial dude. I mean, who needs to know this? Me for some reason.

I also just recently learned that the lady who plays the socially awkward and pregnant cop on Reno 911 is the daughter of the guy who does the voice of not only Lion-O from the Thundercats, but also Count Chocula. Have you ever heard the audio recording of Lion-O swearing, it's pretty good.

Just last night I was watching 30 Rock Season 1 and decided to IMDB (apparently I use this as a verb now) Jason Sudekis because he’s really cute (aww) and lo and behold I learned that he’s the nephew of George Wendt. Now he’s even cuter to me, I mean is there a better drunken uncle than George Wendt? Things I like about Wendt are as follows:

A. how shitfaced he got on national tv during the last Cheers

B. my friend's brother saw him out at a bar and he was double fisting beers

C. his role as a gay poker playing rhode island lout in Outside Providence.

Speaking of Outide Providence and 30 Rock, they both share Alec Baldwin. When 30 Rock first came out I wasn’t sure what it was going to be like, but it sounded really bad and there was that whole confusion between 30 Rock and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. I saw an episode or two of 30 Rock and it just didn’t grab me as funny. However, my tivo captured it now and again on Thursday nights and I started watching it more regularly and it really began to grow on me. I’ve now since watched the whole first season on from streaming Netflix and have laughed my ass off, I think its arguably funnier than the Office, give it a chance if you haven't already -trust me any show with both Tracy Morgan and by my count, at least 3 Lemonparty references, is a winner.

Well, I think the rambling free association pop culture vomit session has come to an end – if you made it this far may God have mercy on your soul.

Quick and Dirty Oscar Nomination Wrap up

Best Picture: "Atonement," ''Juno," ''Michael Clayton," ''No Country for Old Men," ''There Will Be Blood."

Juno, really? I saw it, it was ok. The dialogue was entirely unbelievable and the soundtrack made me want to stick a gun in my mouth and blow my brains out. But other than that it was pretty good. I liked it, and I like the trend of the Academy giving quirky dramatic comedies more respect – ala Little Miss Sunshine, but I’m still shocked to see it here especially at the expense of other “indie” films – not that indie films really exist anymore. I really didn’t think that Once stood a shot at best picture, but seeing Juno there makes wish Once got the nod instead. I also much preferred Into the Wild.
No Country for Old Men was amazing, but until I see Blood this week I withhold judgment.

Actor: George Clooney, "Michael Clayton"; Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood"; Johnny Depp, "Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street"; Tommy Lee Jones, "In the Valley of Elah"; Viggo Mortensen, "Eastern Promises."

I am psyched that Johnny Depp got a nod for this. He won’t win, but he did a hell of a job on this film. I also support their support of Viggo’s junk, however I do feel that legislature should be enacted that requires Viggo to maintain his hair like in Lord of the Rings at all times. I didn’t see In the Valley of Elah, but they could give it to TLJones for No Country, so I take their word that he’s good. He’s really become a great actor, good thing Al Gore invented him.(Actually they were college roommates). I haven’t seen There Will be Blood Yet, but there is no doubt that Daniel Day Lewis will win this Oscar. In fact, I think the Academy should just send him the an Oscar every 4 to 5 years and save us the time suspense. Although, FU Academy, I’m still pissed about In the Name of the Father being robbed!

Actress: Cate Blanchett, "Elizabeth: The Golden Age"; Julie Christie, "Away From Her"; Marion Cotillard, "La Vie en Rose"; Laura Linney, "The Savages"; Ellen Page, "Juno."

Ok, Ellen Page? Really? She did a great job, don’t get me wrong, but her character had in my mind one amazing scene in the film. Ask me about it, no spoilers from me yet. I think that Marion Cotillard will win this Oscar, unless they decide Julie Christie and reward her for years of good work.

Supporting Actor: Casey Affleck, "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"; Javier Bardem, "No Country for Old Men"; Hal Holbrook, "Into the Wild"; Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Charlie Wilson's War"; Tom Wilkinson, "Michael Clayton."

I predicted months ago that Hal Holbrook would get an Oscar nod for Into the Wild, I believe I said just send it to him now. He did a fantastic job and he’s old as fuck. However, up against Javier Bardem is a death sentence. I hadn’t realized that Javier’s role would be considered Supporting and not Lead. Hal, baby…I think you’re screwed. Casey Affleck, good for you! I wish I had a double burrrrger.

Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, "I'm Not There"; Ruby Dee, "American Gangster"; Saoirse Ronan, "Atonement"; Amy Ryan, "Gone Baby Gone"; Tilda Swinton, "Michael Clayton."

Amy Ryan for crack whore bitch of the year! Gets my vote. However, Cate Blanchet is nominated for both Lead and Supporting, I think she stands a chance here – she looks scarily like Dylan. Don’t factor Ruby Dee out, she’s a legend. I’m very happy to see Tilda Swinton get some props, she’s great in everything.

Director: Julian Schnabel, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly"; Jason Reitman, "Juno"; Tony Gilroy, "Michael Clayton"; Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, "No Country for Old Men"; Paul Thomas Anderson, "There Will Be Blood."

Jason Reitman – again, more Juno outrage. Am I missing something here? The Direction did not stand out in this movie, not at all. I think it’s a fistfight between PTA and the Coen’s. I like them both for this nomination. This could really go either way. I’ll abstain for now – but I’m leaning Coen.

Adapted Screenplay: Christopher Hampton, "Atonement"; Sarah Polley, "Away from Her"; Ronald Harwood, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly"; Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, "No Country for Old Men"; Paul Thomas Anderson, "There Will Be Blood."

I’m rooting for Sarah Polley here, even though she doesn’t stand a chance. Like her and have enjoyed her whole career – she’s really an interesting person, plus I think my friend Hunter would kill me if I didn’t root her on.

Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, "Juno"; Nancy Oliver, "Lars and the Real Girl"; Tony Gilroy, "Michael Clayton"; Brad Bird, Jan Pinkava and Jim Capobianco, "Ratatouille"; Tamara Jenkins, "The Savages."

Ugg, I thought Ratatouille was one of the weakest of the recent amazing Pixar movies. I love Brad Bird, but I didn’t think the plot was original at all. I can see Juno winning this one, and actually deserves the nod. However, do I want to reward anyone with a stupid name like Diablo Cody?

Art Direction: "American Gangster," ''Atonement," ''The Golden Compass," ''Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street," ''There Will Be Blood."
Tim Burton, 115%. I give it 4 for gore.

Cinematography: "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford," ''Atonement," ''The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," ''No Country for Old Men," ''There Will Be Blood."

No question, No Country.

Original Song: "Falling Slowly" from "Once," Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova; "Happy Working Song" from "Enchanted," Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz; "Raise It Up" from "August Rush," Nominees to be determined; "So Close" from "Enchanted," Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz; "That's How You Know" from "Enchanted," Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz.

Someone explain to my why a movie is allowed to have more than 1 song nominated? Then explain to me why that movie was Enchanted and not ONCE. Fuck you Hollywood. Am I the only one who saw Once? Grrr.
Although I’m not Pearl Jam fan, it’s a sin that Into the Wild was overlooked. Eddie Vedder should be outraged, he did an amazing job with the film. This category is rigged.

Documentary Feature: "No End in Sight," ''Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience," ''Sicko," ''Taxi to the Dark Side," ''War/Dance."

Well, I saw Sicko and it scared me more than 12 Cloverfield monsters – so yeah. Sicko all the way.

Film Editing: "The Bourne Ultimatum," ''The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," ''Into the Wild," ''No Country for Old Men," ''There Will Be Blood."

I actually think Into the Wild stands a chance here, it was very well edited.

So here you go, what were your thoughts?

I hate the Ghost Whisperer

Maybe it’s because I’m a former catholic, but I feel like I must confess to my at least one of my pop culture sins. I love/hate/love The Ghost Whisperer.

I can’t justify it, but I will try to explain. The show isn’t very good, far from it actually. However, I seem to find myself watching it every week.

I was first trapped by the show because of my love of the Friday night post work nap. I’d find myself napping in front of the tv and then waking up with the GW already in progress and getting sucked in. What started off as an occasional one night stand with the GW has, sadly, turned into a full blown relationship. For this I have much shame. Just the other day I added GW to my tivo, MY TIVO, my sacred, sacred Tivo.

I think what I like about the show is how much it annoys me. I love hating it. My biggest issue with the show is that the main character Melinda (J. Love Hewitt, or Hugetits according to Dre/Goon) speaks to the dead but she never repeats what they have said verbatim. She always puts it in her own words, and its crazy annoying. I mean, come on now Hugetits, if I bother to defy a normal death and come back and haunt my loved ones, I think the least you can do is take a fucking message correctly. I mean, is that really so hard to ask? I’ll see if I can find a youtube clip of this, its sooo annoying.

I also hate Hugetits because she has a kick ass craftsman style house. I want that house damnit. I don’t understand where the hell they live that a fireman and some weird ass antique shop owner can afford this giant beautiful house, but some how they do. Let alone this town they live in, which is basically on some sort of hell mouth, is even more sickeningly sweet than that damn town on the Gilmore Girls.

Lets see, what else? I also hate her wardrobe, she’s always wearing these low cut blouses when hanging around with kids; I mean put a shirt on lady. Additionally, she dresses in this bizarre retro fifties porno housewife style, poofy skirts and slutty tops and don’t even get me started on her fake eyelashes and four tons of eyeliner. I will say her husband is hot. I’d like to have a job where I run a store that no one shops in but I can have a hot husband and a kickass house – fucking bitch! See, I hate her but I love hating her. She lives in this small town, yet no one ever seems to notice that the hot lady who owns the antique shop is always talking to herself in public?

Well, there is tons more about this show which annoys me, but really it’s me with the problem. I love the Ghost Whisper because I like ghost stuff and being a bitch. The end.

I May Never Kiss A Girl Again

I May Never Kiss A Girl Again...

I hope this isn't the case, but I foresee it happening this way. Why, you ask, do I say this? I'll tell you, the reason is that as of this past weekend, I started playing XBOX 360's Call of Duty 4. You may be confused, so let me explain.
I would consider myself a Recreational Video Game player at best. I'm not one of the people that wait in line the first night for a new gaming system or anything. And I think 500 bucks is WAY too much to spend on anything that can't drive you somewhere, or give you shelter, or let you watch baseball in high def. I've gotten my gaming systems well after they have come out on the market. Starting all the way back from Atari, I've had Atari, Nintendo, Sega Genesis, Playstation (my roommates), Playstation 2, and now XBOX 360.
Sure, I've spent my time playing video games, from hours of playing space invaders, to Mario Bros. and down the line, but I've never considered myself much of a gamer (except for the 3 week period that I was addicted to Everquest, thank god I was able to stop that, although from time to time I still miss my level 24 rogue). I tend to stick to the same type of games from system to system...Usually I'll play the baseball/football/Soccer games for a while, although I get bored easily. I'll pretty much play every Final Fantasy Game that gets released, although many I never finish, because I get bored before the end. I also have played the Grand Theft Auto series (I always have finished these, but then never gone back to play them again). One thing I've also played is either Call of Duty or Medal Of Honor. This goes back to the original PlayStation system...Again, I'd always finish these games, but then would never play them again.

You see a pattern...I get a game, I'll play it for a while, maybe I'll finish it, then I'm done. But this has all changed, due to one thing: XBOX 360 Live. My first foray into XBOX 360 Live came about because when I went to buy the Call of Duty 4 game at gamestop, I checked some reviews first. See, this is the first Call of Duty that wasn't based on World War 2. So I wanted to make sure people thought it was good. I read a few comments, and read that: The single player game is too short, but the multiplayer option kicks Halo 3's ass. Now like I said, I'm not a gamer, my game systems can go months without having been played, and have never played a Halo game, but I was shunned by the staff at a game store once for admitting this fact, so I figured if not playing the game garnered such a response, it has to be a well respected game...and if people are saying this is BETTER than that, it must be good, so I decided to go for it and give it a chance. I had my XBOX 360 headset, and was thinking of getting the XBOX live membership anyway, so why not give it a go. That was last Saturday...and other than New Years Eve, I haven't stopped playing since. Of course I've gone to bed, and to work, but this game is truly just so addictive, that I find myself turning off stuff I would never turn off in order to play it.
I mean seriously, I'm so bad at this game, and I get insulted and taunted by pre teens all day long, but I just can't stop playing, it's like I'm a video game massochist. The other night, I was being taunted so bad by the same player, I quit the game, I went back and played another, but I made sure that the guy wasn't playing in the same game again.
Now I've actually thought of some benefits that playing this game, during every hour I'm awake at home. One, hand eye coordination. Two, Money Saving, if I stay home and play the game all the time, I won't go out to bars, and drink all the time. Three, surprisingly I feel that if I play this game as much as I have...I will actually lose weight. I know, you think I'm crazy but hear me out. First of all, I won't be going to the bar, so thats tons of empty calories right there saved. Also, I've tried to play this game drunk, can't do it...so I know that I'll remain sober if I play it...And finally, When I get into the groove, I forget about eating. I swear to god, I haven't wanted to eat at all when playing this game, I just go and go and go for hours, not eating, drinking as little as possible to avoid bathroom breaks. I'm telling you, this could work.
So this is what the problem is...If I keep this up, I'll never have a girlfriend...I mean, sure, maybe I'll meet a chick from Korea that plays the game in some sort of a chat room, and maybe she won't actually end up being some huge perv named Skip from Idaho. But otherwise how am I supposed to meet chicks in my living room with a headset on? And even if I did happen to meet a chick, what are the chances that she'd want to kiss a guy who wears a headset in his spare time anyway?

F' The Writer's Strike!

First off, let me say that I'm in no way qualified to judge which side of the writer's strike is right and which is wrong. I haven't read much into it, although it seems like the writers are looking for a piece of the pie on internet revenues, which the Networks/studios haven't figured out how to make money on yet.
Regardless...We need this strike to end...and I mean soon.

I'm not a basher of reality tv in any way. I've been a Survivor fan since the beginning. The Amazing Race? Spectacular...except when they went to the Family System. Four players? Come On! But there are limits to what I can take...For example, in the timeslot that was normally saved for two of my favorite shows, Heroes and Chuck, was an exciting 2 HOUR LONG Deal or No Deal. I mean, unless you told me that the breifcase models were going to strip down to their panties and have a tickle fight, I'll be glad to never have to endure another hour of that show...let alone TWO! Also, currently on air, there are 2 different shows that are Karaoke based. One is Singing Bee starring former boybander Joey Fatone, the other is Don't Forget The Lyrics starring Wayne Brady. I've seen them both, and all I have to say is this: Say What Karaoke beat you to the punch about a decade ago.

There is also a great show called "Battle Of The Choirs" starring former boybander Nick Lachey and girlbander Kelley Rowland, as well as the No Talent Ass Clown Michael Bolton. Now while I'm fully in favor of pop/rock song that employ the choir (Like A Prayer, I wanna Know What Love Is etc.) I don't need to see an American Idol ripoff featuring them, nor do I need to see The Next American Rock Band or the Next Great Wedding Singer, or whatever they can come up with next.

There is ONE thing that I am excited about though with the writer's strike. And yes, it is the Return of American Gladiators. I loved this show growing up...and really look forward to a new version of it, hosted by the newly single Hulk Hogan. I've seen commercials, and they definitely show that the Joust and Assault are back as events...I can't want to see the new events. Will they keep Breakthrough and Conquer? Powerball? I can't wait to find out.




I'm really worried that some shows are going to suffer greatly by the writer's strike, especially new shows that have had to cut short plot lines. I feel that these new shows may just get axed rather than giving them a new shot after the strike is settled.

Also, with the Strike, I really don't want to see movies that were pushed out too quickly, I have heard that studios pushed forward deadlines for scripts drastically, and I hope that doesn't lead to a lower quality of film, I'm sure it will, but I hope it doesn't happen. I can totally see a few sequels that have no business being made...or some films that have been rewritten by directors, because the writers are on strike, and just ruining it.

I will say this, The Dark Knight looks UNBELIEVABLE...Heathe Ledger as the Joker looks scary, really scary. Batman Begins was such a good flick, and I think the combo of Christian Bale as Batman and Michael Caine as Alfred is really the perfect combo. Supposedly Ledger's acting was so good, the studio has chosen to not even advertise that there are two villain's in the film (Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent AKA Two Face). Either way, it's Definitely the one film I'm looking forward to seeing next year.


The one good thing about the Writer's strike, is that I'll have more time to watch the New Look Celtics and suddenly not sad sack Bruins play more often...

Foundation Movie Review Time

After some internal dialogue within the Foundation, I've decided that I'm relying too much on lists these days...and that maybe a little much of the blog is taken up by TV these days...so I'm going in a slightly different direction. I'm giving you a good, old fashioned, Siskel and Ebert like Movie Review.

First off, this movie played in limited release at the Kendall Theater, which being new to the "Good" side of the river...there, I said it, the good side...I haven't been to often enough. But the place is absolutely DESOLATE at 9:30 on a Monday, let me tell you. Other than that, it's a very good venue for movie watching. nice seats, convenient parking/t access etc.

Anyway, The movie I was there to see was Life Of Reilly, a film version of Charles Nelson Reilly's One Man Show called Save It For The Stage. Loyal reader Dan Nolan would say, this blog has focused a little too much on Mr. Reilly, but I'm fine with that. Basically, it's a two hour movie with Chuck telling stories and spinning yarns about his INCREDIBLY interesting life, from being a nearly blind kid in The Bronx, to surviving the Hartford Circus Fire, to joining an acting class whose fellow students included: Jason Robards, Jerry Stiller, Hal Holbrook, Anne Meara and the incredibly ageless (with the help of many many plastic surgeries) Charles Grodin. Basically this movie was about Charles Dropping Names of all the people he knew, and worked with, as well as talking about how difficult his life was growing up with a family stricken with alcoholism, depression, mental disease, adultery, and poverty. But it is extremely powerful going between laughing and nearly crying several time throughout the movie.

See it if you can...

Just a little TV stuff, Chuck and Life were both picked up by NBC to finish out their first seasons...Here's hoping that they catch on and stay for even longer than that.

Expect more later.

Craptastic Power Ballads!

Yes, its Duffless and I'm back and torturing you again. I absolutely adore cheesy, hammy, overacted soap operaesque crap rock ballads. To set the stage I'll give you some introductory examples:

1. Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Tyler, I swear the lyrics were written by a romance novelist. Truly craptacular! Fake thunder sounds, a street-wise Hercules fresh from the fight, does it get any better?

2. Meatloaf's- I'll Do Anything for Love, But I Won't do That. People always joke about what Meatloaf will or won't do, which yes is/was kinda funny - however one of the greatest/crappiest/greatest rock lyrics of all time is found in that song and is always overlooked. "Would you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?" So we are to believe that this woman is so enflamed with desire for the Loaf, that nothing short of holy water could possibly cool her down? Classic!

Which brings us to one of my all time favorite Craptastic Power Ballads - which really cannot be fully appreciated without watching the video. Allow me to present - Heart's - All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You.

The gist of the plot -

1. On a rainy night, a woman alone picks up a hitchhiker and takes him to a seedy motel room and proceeds to bone him all night and leaves the next day.
2. Another rainy night a few years later she finds herself back at that same motel, this time holding her son.
3. The hitchhiker now works at the motel's front desk. He looks at her child and immediately recognizes that he is the father because of his similar eyes.
4. The women confesses that she loves another man but he couldn't knock her up so she went out to get herself pregged up, but she really appreciated all the orgasms and the gift of her bastard son.

Things to think about:
1. Hello, AIDS anyone? This was 1990, people were living in fear of getting AIDS and here is some woman riding(hee hee) around trying to get knocked up.
2. Invitro was readily available in 1990, as was adoption.
3. She not only picked up a stranger on the side of the road, but he didn't even have a coat or an umbrella in the rain - man she got lucky this dude was 90s style hot.
3a. Despite the lyrics clearly stating that he was indeed wearing no coat, you see that in the video he is wearing a cool guy leather jacket and at one point has apparently and gentlemanly given it to her to wear over her shoulders - he only removes it to make sweet and tender love to her. Also note that despite the rain, when he gets in the car he's some how completely dry.
4. She left the next morning, and we are supposed to believe he was upset about this?? Sounds like the ideal situation for him, you have to presume she paid for the room the night before. Free sex and no awkward morning after,dream come true! If a 90s Wilson sister bangs you, you pray, PRAY, she is gone the next morning, especially if its Anne or is it Nancy, which ever the shittier, fatter one is - I can't tell, its all in soft focus and slimming black side panels.
5. Notice the blonde Wilson sister worshiping her phallic like guitar at the 1:20 mark and at the end of the video. All hail the powerful sperm filled cock!
6. He loved that women who boned him so much that he got a job working at the motel so she could find him? Yeah, creepy PSYCHOs never work at motels.
7. He determined paternity based on eye color. WTF
8. If you are in a highschool english class where your teacher just showed you that songs are really poetry, listen up you can use these next subtle metaphors: "He brought the woman out of me, So many times, easily" - OH YEAH!!!
"And in the morning when he woke all, I left him was a note, I told him I am the flower you are the seed We walked in the garden We planted a tree" - I don't get this one, its far too subtle for me, pure poetry! Andrew Marvell move over!

Well, I hope you've enjoyed this flashback. Remember, wrap that shit.

Lists

I'll be quite honest...generally I hate making lists. I don't make shopping lists, I don't make to do lists, I don't make christmas lists...I do however enjoy a TOP LIST...for example the delayed but happening Top 50 Songs of all time list, the AFI top 100 Movies list, and especially the Classic Rock Top 500 Classic Rock Songs of All Time Memorial Day Weekend List. Here is a list, I don't get. The VH1 Greatest Songs of the 80's list. I'd have included a link straight to their site, but apparently the VH1 website is more difficult to navigate than either the various "ways" of boston, be it the Jamaica, River, VFW Park, West Roxbury Park or whatever, or The Boston Herald's website. Anyway, I will state at first that I have no problem overall with the list...Because A) it was voted on by viewers and people are stupid and B) no one contacted either Duffless or myself, so really, this list isn't valid.
100 Greatest 80s Songs List

First off I'll start at the top...This list is crap for the simple reason that the top 6 songs, aren't even the best songs by the artists that sang them, with the exception of Princes When Doves Cry...that one belongs, even higher than 5.! Pour Some Sugar On Me? Hasn't anyone ever heard of Photograph? Livin' On A Prayer, good song, but No Wanted Dead Or Alive....And the Hall And Oates Song? First off, find yourself in the 20's, and change your name to Maneater or Private Eye, and we'll talk...And Billy Jean? REALLY, I Mean Really? Not Thriller? Ok, that one could be argued, which one was the better song, and whether or not the thriller video enters into it.

I'm not going to get too picky with the actual spots on the list, but I'm pretty sure this list was voted on by people that weren't even alive in the 80's...My evidence? Please look at numbers 30-33. Again, I could go even further, but how is any of those songs not in the top 20? Love is a Battlefield? Top 10. Tainted Love, arguably top 10, Sister Christian? Only one of the greatest rock anthems of all time top 15 at least. Queen and David Bowie, under pressure? How is that not better than Hall and Oates at number 6, the only reason that this atrocity could occur is that people thought the song came out in the 70's, or the backlash of Vanilla Ice sampling it, really hurt.

I'll give the show credit, it did well, not so much with the rankings, but with the former 80's stars that they were able to russle up and interview...as well as some nice where are the now segments (The chick from Berlin is definitely Wicked Hot even today), but the actual rankings were putrid, I know viewers voted them in, but couldn't there have been a veto process?

Also, here is a list of the top songs of the last 25 years that VH1 Did as well, in case you are interested.
VH1 Top Songs List

Finally I may as well just do it...My top 10 Songs of the 80's list admittedly, this list is going to be songs that I'd have seen on MTV or heard on the radio, so VERY commercial radio driven:

10. Tainted Love (Soft Cell)

9. Don't Stop Believin' (Journey)

8. Jump (Van Halen)

7. Sister Christian (Night Ranger)

6. Love Is A Battlefield (Pat Benetar)

5. Don't You Want Me Baby (Human League)

4. Take on Me (A-HA)

3. Thriller (Michael Jackson)

2. Rocket Queen (Guns And Roses)

1. When Doves Cry (Prince)

Of course I should really do a list where I break this down by Pop and Rock, but really this blog isn't all about lists...

Ok, so one more thing, if anyone sees me with a starbucks cup these days, please punch me in the face, the Egg Nog Latte is out, and I CAN NOT AFFORD either the costs or the caloric intake. I'd drink those all day, every day if I could. But that's a story for another day I guess.

Ok, What The F' Was I Thinking?

How can I not blog for OVER A MONTH!?!?!?! Sorry, not going to happen again. Little Recap of what's going on. First and foremost, the Sox are in the world series. Tomorrow night is game one, and while this isn't a Sports Blog, I'll admit, the sox in the playoffs means less time for me to blog. There's just too much going on.

Also, New TV Seasons are upon us. In addition to Fuge Favorites How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, Friday Night Lights and the entire Thursday Night comedy lineup on NBC (besides 30 Rock, I just never got into it), I'm going to add two new shows to my watching schedule...

First, a show that I wouldn't say is very stimulating on an intellectual level, but VERY stimulating on the Hot Chick level is Chuck. Chuck is the story of a computer geek turned spy when his old college roommate sends him a file that he shouldn't see. Anyway, this show has some funny parts to it, it has a man named Jayne from Firefly/Serenity in it, and it has attractive new chicks. All in all, I can't complain.

My second new show is also on NBC...it's called Life. I'll admit, I watched this show purely based on the fact that the star was Col. Dick Winters from Band Of Brothers...which is one of my favorite TV Shows/Miniseries/Movies of all time. The show's main plot is this: Cop (Dick Winters, and yes, I know he has a character name, and an actual name, but he will be known as Dick Winters from here on) is wrongly accused and convicted of a heinous crime and sent to jail. Now, for those of you who don't know about Jail, first thing you need to do is go rent Lock Up/American History X/Blood In Blood Out/An Innocent Man/Oz/Escape From Alcatraz/Shawshank Redemption et al, so you know exactly what happens to a cop in jail...it's not pretty. He's in jail for 12 years before he's exonerated by DNA evidence (sounds like the work of the Innocence Project to me). When he gets out, he gets a huge settlement from the city, and is allowed his old job back with a promotion to detective. Of course, Dick not only solves the crimes, and makes up for lost time in the bedroom, but he is also trying to find out who framed him and caused him to spend 12 years in the joint. Great show! Also, I don't want to sound all sexist, and whatnot, but this show also features very attractive women...just sayin'

That's really it for new shows, and let me tell you, I really love the fact that you can watch the shows on NBC.Com for free...some have commercials every 7 or 8 minutes, but most of the time, they aren't even there and I watch it uninterrupted.

Ok, what else...Oh Yeah...Commercials. I know this is far from an original thought, BUT, I can tell you that unless there are very extreme circumstances, I will not be purchasing or viewing, or using any of these products if I can avoid it: Chevy Trucks, Frank TV, Hardwood Flooring from Lowes or Cingular/ATT. I'll tell you why. You're commercials are annoying, and actually lead me to want to BOYCOTT your product. I'll start at the beginning...Chevy Truck, I know you probably signed a contract with Johnny Cougar to use "This is Our Country" in so many commercials, but The American Public is absolutely DONE with it. I can't believe it EVER helped sell a vehicle for you. It doesn't matter if you change the background to the commercial or remix the music, it's still teh same fucking song! And we're sick of it! Give us something else. Now Frank TV...I know you are a talented impressionist, I still say your John Madden is impeccable...your Dr. Phil...not so much, but anyway, can that carry a whole show? Secondly could TBS please promo a show that isn't even going to be aired until two months later, so incessantly that I and many others will NOT tune in when it finally comes on? I think so.

Ok, Lowes, you're next...you have an actress use the term Labradoodle in your commercial. Not only will I never buy hardwood flooring from you, I now want to kick anyone who would ever use the word Labradoodle. And maybe even their Labradoodles themselves.

and finally...Cingular/ATT...I'm not necessarily as upset by the content of your commercial...Just the timing, you are airing a commercial starring Roger Clemens...who decided to play for the Yankees this year...The Yankees aren't in the playoffs anymore, and Clemens may have played his last game after injuring himself during a playoff loss to the Indians...that's not very timely of you.

Now for some Kudos...Miller High Life commercials...Keep it up! The addition of the Certified Purveyor commercials are genius...Two Hot Dogs Any Way I want Them This is my kind of place! Miller High Life...Keep it up! That's it for now, but Hopefully I'll have more blogs soon...Go Sox!

Another Loss

The Duffless Foundation is sad to announce that another favorite has passed away. Only a few months after Charles Nelson Reilley left us, he was joined by his partner in crime...Brett Somers.

Somers as many of you will know was married to Jack Klugman of Quincy and Odd Couple fame...It was Klugman who suggested that The Match Game use his wife as a regular panellist, and a legend was born. Brett, who's wigs and big glasses became a staple of the game show era, was a constant on the Match Game for many, many years.

The big Three of the match game were definitely Brett, Charles and Richard Dawson (often called Dickie by Brett)...and now two of them are gone. They say things happen in threes, and I just hope that Richard is in a clean state of health, although knowing his reputation, he probably has picked up any of a number of sexual diseases with his playboy lifestyle.

Somers was born in New Brunswick Canada, before moving to New York to be an actress...She was involved in many Broadway productions, but is probably most famous for being the wife of Jack Klugman, she had three children, two with Klugman, and one from a previous marriage.

She will be missed, by friends, family and The Duffless Foundation.